Joan of Arctic I’m a 54-year-old woman, married for 21 years to a pretty decent guy. When our now-18-year-old son was little, my husband completely ignored Mother’s Day for maybe six years. Once, I asked him why, and he simply said, “You aren’t my mother.” It hurt me SO MUCH because I busted my butt to be a good mom. I told him why I was so upset, and one year, I laid on our bed and cried, but nothing changed. Six years ago, he began giving me a card and flowers on Mother’s Day. This year, he and...Read More
Author: Amy Alkon
Kick The Hobbit My 23-year-old nephew is a nice guy, a college grad with a good job who’s a loving pet owner. The women in the family love his ironic mustache, his tattoos, and his way of making people laugh, but the men, including my husband, tend to see him in a negative light. I struggle to understand why they think so little of him. But maybe that’s it: My nephew’s not a big guy. He’s maybe 5-foot-6, and while that’s not terribly short, my family skews tall, with all the other men 6-foot-3 and over. From reading evolutionary...Read More
by Amy Alkon Real Houseknives I was dismayed at how off-base you were when I read your response to a woman wanting to give her female friend advice to stop her from dating and hooking up so much after her breakup. It’s common knowledge that it’s men who go off on women for being promiscuous and tell them to not dress sexy. It’s one more form of patriarchal control. Why blame women for this? — Angry Woman Living In The Real World When men at construction sites catcall women, it generally isn’t with remarks like, “If you had more...Read More
Womb With A View My friend constantly talks to me about her baby on the way and asks me to help her pick out furniture and clothes for it. This is very painful for me because my husband doesn’t want kids and I agreed not to have any. I didn’t realize I’d have this deep longing for a child, but I love him and am not willing to leave him. I also have a hard time asking for things, even if a person is my friend. How do I tell her it would be better for me not to...Read More
Catty Litter I’m a woman who just turned 30, and so is my best friend, who just got out of a three-year relationship. She’s now on the rebound (SET ITAL)hard(END ITAL) — hitting on her co-workers, going on multiple dates every week, hooking up with different guys all the time, etc. I can’t decide whether to admire her confidence or be concerned that she needs constant attention and validation from men. Do you think this is healthy behavior? Should I tell her that she needs to stop acting out and work on healing from her relationship in healthy ways? — Worried...Read More
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