Author: Amy Alkon

ADVICE GODDESS | Feb. 20, 2020

Flee Infestation Disturbingly, I’ve had two close female friends “ghost” me in five months. I’ve known each for 15 years. (They don’t know each other, and one lives out of state.) I’ve tried repeatedly to contact each, asking “Did I do anything to hurt or offend you?” No response. I just want the truth so I can move on. — Baffled  There comes a time when you wish someone would treat you with a little more kindness, like by screaming out all the reasons you deserve to be left for dead and have your face eaten off by raccoons....

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ADVICE GODDESS | Feb. 13, 2020

Business Whirled  I’m a woman who’s fiercely competitive in the business world. I’ve been rewarded for pursuing deals as relentlessly as highly successful men do. Yet, taking this approach in my dating life — energetically pursuing men and confidently asking them out — has been a bust. The men I go after seem to find my openness, excitement, and confidence off-putting. I keep hearing that I need to chill out and let men pursue me. This seems crazy. I shouldn’t have to act like a debutante, waiting for a man to ask me out.  — Irritated In seduction, more...

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ADVICE GODDESS | Feb. 6, 2020

The Sociopath Of Least Resistance I discovered that the guy I’m dating has a girlfriend he’s cheating on. In fact, she confronted us, which was awful. I’ve had a history of guys cheating on me, and I want to end the pattern. Unfortunately, I’m not attracted to a lot of guys I go out with, and I’m really attracted to this guy. — Chemistry  Being really attracted to somebody is the go-to excuse for shrugging off a potential partner’s shady behavior — pretty much anything this side of “Well, sure, several of his neighbors are wintering in Ziploc in...

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ADVICE GODDESS | Jan. 23, 2020

“I Have A Gleam…” I’m a straight woman, and at my recent birthday party, several people remarked about this other woman, also straight, “Whoa, is she infatuated with you, or what?” Straight women getting intense girl crushes on me has actually been a pattern in my life. Weird. A friend says I have “charisma” but couldn’t really explain what that is. — Mysteriously Popular Charisma is human magnetism. If you’re a mugger with charisma, you don’t even have to hold people up at gunpoint. They just come over and offer you their wallet. Charisma can seem mysterious and magical...

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ADVICE GODDESS | Jan. 16, 2020

Charmin School Yesterday, my roommate picked up some household supplies (toilet paper, sponges, etc.) and asked me to split the cost. I’ve bought plenty of household supplies in the two years we’ve lived together without ever asking for any money. It feels weird and cheap that he’s suddenly doing this. Am I being unreasonable in feeling this way, or is he being seriously petty? — Annoyed Weird conflicts like this make you start seeing your roommate differently, and not in a good way — kind of like Joan of Arc on horseback, brandishing an empty bottle of Lysol. As...

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UPCOMING COMMUNITY EVENTS

  1. Spiritual Bodies: Photography by Carlton Wilkinson

    January 10 @ 8:00 am - February 29 @ 8:00 pm
  2. History Lecture Series: Accommodation and Resistance

    January 14 @ 7:00 pm - March 10 @ 7:00 pm
  3. Meleko Mokgosi: Acts of Resistance

    January 22 @ 10:00 am - April 9 @ 4:00 pm
  4. Of Ebony Embers: Vignettes of the Harlem Renaissance

    February 24 @ 7:00 pm
  5. Ventura County Research Symposium: Sustainability Through Soil Health

    February 27 @ 8:00 am - 12:00 pm
  6. Post-Fire Food Safety Workshop

    February 27 @ 1:00 pm - 4:00 pm
  7. Wildfire Recovery Community Healing Workshop

    February 28 @ 6:00 pm - 8:00 pm
  8. Watercolor on Yupo Workshop

    February 29 @ 10:00 am - 12:00 pm
  9. Zlatomir Fung, Cellist with Janice Carissa, Pianist

    March 1 @ 3:00 pm - 5:00 pm
  10. Dinner & Art Demonstration

    March 3 @ 5:30 pm - 8:30 pm