14 Cannons Brewery & Showroom
31125 Via Colinas, suite 907, Westlake Village

Whenever I’m in an unremarkable business park devoid of all greenery, awash in the endearing variety of color that grayscale can provide, I know that I need a drink. Thankfully, amid the warehouses and odd storefronts, 14 Cannons exists and my prayers have been answered.

Stepping into 14 Cannons Brewery off Lindero Canyon in Westlake Village is what I would imagine stepping through the back of a wardrobe and ending up in Narnia must feel like. You leave the barren corporate world and enter into the belly of a ship at sea. Lining the wall along the right are the cannons – well, fermenting tanks. The parlor puts on a show of dark wood and naval supremacy, with a large mural of Tyrannicide, a ship dedicated to a ship dedicated to kicking ass, which did most of its ass kicking during the Revolutionary War.

As it turns out, owner Marshall Haraden’s great, great, great, great uncle, Jonathan Haraden, captained the ship in 1777 for the Massachusetts State Navy fleet.

The bar features prominently what could double as a wall in the captain’s quarters, if he were a fan of craft beer. Ten beers on tap ranged from your hoppy affair all the way to the East Indies with a spiced varietal. This being February, I chose an Oktoberfest-style German amber lager, naturally. The Marooner Marzen ($7) offered up the right amount of toasty, caramelesque notes one usually associates with fall, but heck, we were at sea. Anything goes!

Though a dessert ale dubbed the Peanut Butter Cup ($7) was also on offer, and proved enticing with a small taster, my second came in the form of the Spice Island, an English-style brown ale brewed with chai tea. “Set sail for Flavortown!” I said to no one in particular.

If you had told me that there exists a battleship in Westlake Village, I would have asked that you take me there immediately. Now that I know one exists in the form of a brewery, I ask permission to board permanently. This is a ship I’d love to call home.