Free Will Astrology

Free Will Astrology

 

ARIES
(March 21-April 19):
In 1993, Frenchman Emile Leray was on a solo trip through the Sahara Desert. In the middle of nowhere, his car suffered a major breakdown. It was unfixable. But he didn’t panic. Instead, he used a few basic tools he had on hand to dismantle the vehicle and convert its parts into a makeshift motorcycle. He was able to ride it back to civilization. I foresee the possibility of a metaphorically similar development in your future, Aries. You will get the opportunity to be very resourceful as you turn an apparent setback into a successful twist of fate.

TAURUS
(April 20-May 20):
Your power animal is not the soaring eagle or the shrewd wolf or the brave bear. No, Taurus, it’s the rubber chicken. I’m serious. With the rubber chicken as your guardian spirit, you might be inspired to commit random acts of goofiness and surrealism. And that would reduce tension in the people around you. It could motivate you to play jokes and pull harmless pranks that influence everyone to take themselves less seriously. Are you willing to risk losing your dignity if it helps make the general mood looser and more generous? Nothing could be better for group solidarity, which is crucial these days. (Thanks, Gina Williams.)

GEMINI
(May 21-June 20):
In the language of the Huron Indians, “orenda” is a word that refers to the spiritual power that resides in all creatures and things. If you’ve got enough of it, you may be able to declare at least partial independence from your own past. You can better shape the life you want for yourself rather than being so thoroughly subject to the limitations of your karma and conditioning. I happen to believe that your current supply of orenda is unusually abundant, Gemini. What’s the best use you can make of it?

CANCER
(June 21-July 22):
When I lived in Santa Cruz years ago, some of my published writings were illustrated by a local cartoonist named Karl Vidstrand. His work was funny, outrageous, and often offensive in the most entertaining ways. Eventually he wandered away from our colorful, creative community and moved to a small town at the edge of California’s Mojave Desert, near where the space shuttles landed. He liked living at the fringes of space, he told journalist R. D. Pickle. It gave him the sense of “being out of bounds at all times.” I suggest you adopt some of the Vidstrand spirit in the next three weeks, Cancerian. Being on the fringes and out of bounds are exactly where you belong.

LEO
(July 23-Aug. 22):
The history of your pain is entering a new phase. Gradually, almost imperceptibly at first, an emotional ache that has been sapping your vitality will begin to diminish. You will free yourself of its power to define you. You will learn to live without its oddly seductive glamour. More and more, as the weeks go by, you will find yourself less interested in it, less attracted to the maddening mystery it has foisted on you. No later than mid-April, I’m guessing that you will be ready to conduct a ritual of completion; you’ll be able to give it a formal send-off as you squeeze one last lesson out of it.

VIRGO
(Aug. 23-Sept. 22):
”When looking for a book, you may discover that you were in fact looking for the book next to it.” Italian writer Roberto Calasso told that to The Paris Review, and now I’m passing it on to you. But I’d like you to expand upon its meaning, and regard it as a metaphor that applies to your whole life right now. Every time you go searching for a specific something — a learning experience, an invigorating pleasure, a helpful influence — consider the possibility that what you really want and need is a different one that’s nearby.

LIBRA
(Sept. 23-Oct. 22):
At least once a day, a cell in your body mutates in a way that makes it potentially cancerous. Just as often, your immune system hunts down that dangerous cell and kills it, preserving your health. Do you understand how amazing this is? You have a vigilant protector that’s always on duty, operating below the level of your awareness. What if I told you that this physical aspect of your organism has an equivalent psychic component? What if, in other words, you have within you a higher intelligence whose function it is to steer you away from useless trouble and dumb risks? I say there is such a thing. I say this other protector works best if you maintain a conscious relationship with it, asking it to guide you and instruct you. The coming weeks will be an excellent time to deepen your connection.


SCORPIO

(Oct. 23-Nov. 21):
Some rules in the game of life don’t apply to you and can therefore be safely ignored. Do you know which ones they are? On the other hand, do you understand which of the rules in the game of life are crucial to observe if you want to translate your fondest dreams into real experiences? To recognize the difference is a high art. I’m thinking that now would be an excellent time to solidify your mastery of this distinction. I suggest that you formally renounce your investment in the irrelevant rules and polish your skills at playing by the applicable rules.

SAGITTARIUS
(Nov. 22-Dec. 21):
”Don’t think the garden loses its ecstasy in winter,” wrote the Persian mystic poet Rumi. “It’s quiet, but the roots are down there riotous.” I think you’re like that winter garden right now, Sagittarius. Outwardly, there’s not much heat and flash. Bright ideas and strong opinions are not pouring out of you at their usual rates. You’re not even prone to talking too loud or accidentally knocking things over. This may in fact be as close as you can get to being a wallflower. And yet deep beneath the surface, out of sight from casual observers, you are charging up your psychic battery. The action down there is vibrant and vigorous.

CAPRICORN
(Dec. 22-Jan. 19):
”When you come right down to it,” says religion writer Rabbi Marc Gellman, “there are only four basic prayers. Gimme! Thanks! Oops! and Wow!” Personally, I would add a fifth type of prayer to Gellman’s list: “Do you need any assistance?” The Creator always needs collaborators to help implement the gritty details of the latest divine schemes. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, you would be an excellent choice to volunteer for that role right now — especially in tasks that involve blending beautiful fragments, healing sad schisms, furthering peace negotiations, and overcoming seemingly irreconcilable differences.

AQUARIUS
(Jan. 20-Feb. 18):
In the movie Fight Club, there is an animated scene at the very end that required an inordinate amount of time to produce. Each frame in this scene took the editors eight hours to process. Since there are 24 frames in each second, their work went on for three weeks. That’s the kind of attention to detail I recommend you summon as you devote yourself to your labor of love in the coming days, Aquarius. I think you know which specific parts of your creation need such intense focus.

PISCES
(Feb. 19-March 20):
”I have decided to rename the constellations that have domineered our skies too long,” writes an Internet denizen named Hasheeshee St. Frank. He gives only one example. The Big Dipper, he says, shall forevermore be known as the Star-Spangled Gas Can. I invite you to come up with additional substitutes, Pisces. It’s an excellent time for you to reshape and redefine the high and mighty things to which you have given away too much of your power. It’s a perfect moment to reconfigure your relationship with impersonal, overarching forces that have wielded a disproportionately large influence over your thoughts and feelings. How about if you call the constellation Orion by the new title of Three-Eyed Orangutan? Or instead of Pegasus, use the name Sexy Dolphin? Other ideas?

Homework: What would the people who love you best say is the most important thing for you to learn? Testify at Freewillastrology.com.

Go to RealAstrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny’s EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES and DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES. The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700.

Free Will Astrology

Free Will Astrology

 

ARIES
(March 21-April 19):
In the course of her world travels, writer Jane Brunette has seen many wonderful things — as well as a lot of trash. The most beautiful litter, she says, is in Bali. She loves the “woven palm leaf offerings, colorful cloth left from a ceremony, and flowers that dry into exquisite wrinkles of color.” Even the shiny candy wrappers strewn by the side of the road are fun to behold. Your assignment, Aries, is to adopt a perceptual filter akin to Brunette’s. Is there any stuff other people regard as worthless or outworn that you might find useful, interesting or even charming? I’m speaking metaphorically as well as literally.

TAURUS
(April 20-May 20):
The Old Testament tells the story of a man named Methuselah, who supposedly didn’t die until he was 969 years old. Some Kabbalistic commentators suggest that he didn’t literally walk the earth for almost 10 centuries. Rather, he was extra-skilled at the arts of living. His experiences were profoundly rich. He packed 969 years’ worth of meaningful adventures into a normal life span. I prefer that interpretation, and I’d like to invoke it as I assess your future. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, Taurus, you will have Methuselah’s talent in the coming weeks.

GEMINI
(May 21-June 20):
In the coming weeks, I’m expecting your life to verge on being epic and majestic. There’s a better than even chance that you will do something heroic. You might finally activate a sleeping potential or tune in to your future power spot or learn what you’ve never been able to grasp before. And if you capitalize gracefully on the kaleidoscopic kismet that’s flowing your way, I bet you will make a discovery that will fuel you for the rest of your long life. In mythical terms, you will create a new Grail or tame a troublesome dragon — or both.

CANCER
(June 21-July 22):
Jackalopes resemble jackrabbits, except that they have antlers like deer and tails like pheasants. They love whiskey, only have sex during storms, and can mimic most sounds, even the human voice. The milk of the female has curative properties. Strictly speaking, however, the jackalope doesn’t actually exist. It’s a legendary beast, like the mermaid and unicorn. And yet Wyoming lawmakers have decided to honor it. Early this year they began the process of making it the state’s official mythical creature. I bring this to your attention, Cancerian, because now would be an excellent time to select your own official mythical creature. The evocative presence of this fantastic fantasy would inspire your imagination to work more freely and playfully, which is just what you need. What’ll it be? Dragon? Sphinx? Phoenix? Here’s a list: tinyurl.com/MythicCritters

LEO
(July 23-Aug. 22):
The temptation to hide what you’re feeling could be strong right now. You may wonder if you should protect yourself and others from the unruly truth. But according to my analysis, you will be most brilliant and effective if you’re cheerfully honest. That’s the strategy most likely to provide genuine healing, too — even if its initial effects are unsettling. Please remember that it won’t be enough merely to communicate the easy secrets with polite courage. You will have to tap into the deepest sources you know and unveil the whole story with buoyantly bold elegance.

VIRGO
(Aug. 23-Sept. 22):
The word “chain” may refer to something that confines or restricts. But it can also mean a series of people who are linked together because of their common interests and their desire to create strength through unity. I believe that one of those two definitions will play an important role in your life during the coming weeks, Virgo. If you proceed with the intention to emphasize the second meaning, you will minimize and maybe even eliminate the first.

LIBRA
(Sept. 23-Oct. 22):
People in Sweden used to drive their cars on the left-hand side of the road. But a growing body of research revealed it would be better if everyone drove on the right-hand side. So on Sept. 3, 1967, the law changed. Everyone switched over. All non-essential traffic was halted for hours to accommodate the necessary adjustments. What were the results? Lots of motorists grumbled about having to alter their routine behavior, but the transition was smooth. In fact, the accident rate went down.  I think you’d benefit from doing a comparable ritual sometime soon, Libra. Which of your traditions or habits could use a fundamental revision?

SCORPIO
(Oct. 23-Nov. 21):
When a woman is pregnant, her womb stretches dramatically, getting bigger to accommodate the growing fetus. I suspect you’ll undergo a metaphorically similar process in the coming weeks. A new creation will be gestating, and you’ll have to expand as it ripens. How? Here’s one way: You’ll have to get smarter and more sensitive in order to give it the care it needs. Here’s another way: You’ll have to increase your capacity for love. Don’t worry: You won’t have to do it all at once. “Little by little” is your watchword.

SAGITTARIUS
(Nov. 22-Dec. 21):
Do you floss your teeth while you’re meditating? Do you text-message and shave or put on makeup as you drive? Do you simultaneously eat a meal, pay your bills, watch TV and exercise? If so, you are probably trying to move too fast and do too much. Even in normal times, that’s no good. But in the coming week, it should be taboo. You need to slowwww wayyyy dowwwn, Sagittarius. You’ve got . . . to compel yourself . . . to do . . . one thing . . . at a time. I say this not just because your mental and physical and spiritual health depend on it. Certain crucial realizations about your future are on the verge of popping into your awareness — but they will only pop if you are immersed in a calm and unhurried state.


CAPRICORN

(Dec. 22-Jan. 19):
To make your part of the world a better place, stress-loving workaholics may need to collaborate with slow-moving underachievers. Serious business might be best negotiated in places like bowling alleys or parking lots. You should definitely consider seeking out curious synergies and unexpected alliances. It’s an odd grace period, Capricorn. Don’t assume you already know how to captivate the imaginations of people whose influence you want in your life. Be willing to think thoughts and feel feelings you have rarely, if ever, entertained.

AQUARIUS
(Jan. 20-Feb. 18):
Gawker.com came up with colorful ways to describe actress Zooey Deschanel. In a weird coincidence, their pithy phrases for her seem to fit the moods and experiences you will soon be having. I guess you could say you’re scheduled to have a Zooey Deschanel-according-to-Gawker.com kind of week. Here are some of the themes: 1. Novelty ukulele tune. 2. Overemphatic stage wink. 3. Sentient glitter cloud. 4. Over-iced Funfetti cupcake. 5. Melted-bead craft project. 6. Living Pinterest board. 7. Animated Hipstamatic photograph. 8. Bambi’s rabbit friend. 9. Satchel of fairy dust. 10. Hipster labradoodle.


PISCES

(Feb. 19-March 20):
You may have heard the thundering exhortation “Know thyself!” Its origin is ancient. More than 2,400 years ago, it was inscribed at the front of the Temple of Apollo in Delphi, Greece. As important as it is to obey this command, there is an equally crucial corollary: “Be thyself!” Don’t you agree? Is there any experience more painful than not being who you really are? Could there be any behavior more damaging to your long-term happiness than trying to be someone other than who you really are? If there is even the slightest gap, Pisces, now is an excellent time to start closing it. Cosmic forces will be aligned in your favor if you push hard to further identify the nature of your authentic self, and then take aggressive steps to foster its full bloom.

Homework: Is it possible there’s something you really need but you don’t know what it is? Can you guess what it might be? http://Freewillastrology.com

Go to RealAstrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny’s EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES and DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES. The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700.

Free Will Astrology

Free Will Astrology

 

ARIES
(March 21-April 19):
Afrikaner author Laurens van der Post told a story about a conversation between psychologist Carl Jung and Ochwiay Biano, a Pueblo Indian chief. Jung asked Biano to offer his views about white people. “White people must be crazy because they think with their heads,” said the chief, “and it is well-known that only crazy people do that.” Jung asked him what the alternative was. Biano said that his people think with their hearts. That’s your assignment for the week ahead, Aries: to think with your heart — especially when it comes to love. For extra credit, you should feel with your head — especially when it comes to love. Happy Valentine Daze, Aries!

TAURUS
(April 20-May 20):
Have you ever sent a torrent of smart and elegant love messages to a person you wanted to get closer to? Now would be an excellent time to try a stunt like that. Have you ever scoured the depths of your own psyche in search of any unconscious attitudes or bad habits that might be obstructing your ability to enjoy the kind of intimacy you long for? I highly recommend such a project right now. Have you ever embarked on a crusade to make yourself even more interesting and exciting than you already are? Do it now. Raise your irresistibility! Happy Valentine Daze, Taurus!

GEMINI
(May 21-June 20):
Happy Valentine Daze, Gemini! After careful meditation about what messages might purify and supercharge your love life, I decided to offer suggestions about what not to do. To that end, I’ll quote some lines from Kim Addonizio’s poem “Forms of Love.” Please don’t speak any of them out loud, or even get yourself into a position where it makes sense to say them. 1. “I love how emotionally unavailable you are.” 2. “I love you and feel a powerful spiritual connection to you, even though we’ve never met.” 3. “I love your pain, it’s so competitive.” 4. “I love you as long as you love me back.” 5. “I love you when you’re not getting drunk and stupid.” 6. “I love you but I’m married.” 7. “I love it when you tie me up with ropes using the knots you learned in Boy Scouts, and when you do the stoned Dennis Hopper rap from Apocalypse Now!”

CANCER
(June 21-July 22):
This Valentine season, I suggest you consider trying an experiment like this: Go to the soulful ally you want to be closer to and take off at least some of your masks. Drop your pretenses, too. Shed your emotional armor and do without your psychological crutches. Take a chance on getting as psychologically and spiritually naked as you have ever dared. Are you brave enough to reveal the core truths about yourself that lie beneath the convenient truths and the expired truths and the pretend truths?

LEO
(July 23-Aug. 22):
”Sex is a substitute for God,” says writer Cathryn Michon. “When we desire another human being sexually, we are really only trying to fill our longing for ecstasy and union with the infinite.” I agree with her, and I think you might, too, after this week. Erotic encounters will have an even better chance than usual of connecting you to the Sublime Cosmic YumYum. If you can’t find a worthy collaborator to help you accomplish this miraculous feat, just fantasize about one. You need and deserve spiritual rapture. Happy Valentine Daze, Leo!

VIRGO
(Aug. 23-Sept. 22):
Lately you’ve been doing exemplary work on your relationship with yourself, Virgo. You have half-convinced your inner critic to shut the frack up unless it has a truly important piece of wisdom to impart. Meanwhile, you’ve managed to provide a small but inspired dose of healing for the wounded part of your psyche, and you have gently exposed a self-deception that had been wreaking quiet havoc. Congratulations! I’ve got a hunch that all these fine efforts will render you extra sexy and charismatic in the coming week. But it will probably be a subtle kind of sexiness and charisma that only the most emotionally intelligent people will recognize. So don’t expect to attract the attention of superficial jerks who happen to have beautiful exteriors. Happy Valentine Daze!

LIBRA
(Sept. 23-Oct. 22):
The coming days could be an animalistic time for you, and I mean that in the best sense. I suspect you will generate lots of favorable responses from the universe if you honor the part of you that can best be described as a beautiful beast. Learn fun new truths about your instinctual nature. Explore the mysteries of your primal urges. See what you can decipher about your body’s secret language. May I also suggest that you be alert for and receptive to the beautiful beast in other people? Happy Valentine Daze, Libra!

SCORPIO
(Oct. 23-Nov. 21):
For the French Scorpio poet Paul Valéry, swimming had an erotic quality. He described it as fornication avec l’onde, which can be translated as “fornicating with the waves.” Your assignment this Valentine season, Scorpio, is to identify at least three activities that are like sex but not exactly sex — and then do them with glee and abandon. The purpose of this exercise is to educate and cultivate your libido; to encourage your kundalini to branch out as it intensifies and expands your lust for life.


SAGITTARIUS

(Nov. 22-Dec. 21):
This Valentine season, meditate on the relentlessness of your yearning for love. Recognize the fact that your eternal longing will never leave you in peace. Accept that it will forever delight you, torment you, inspire you, and bewilder you — whether you are alone or in the throes of a complicated relationship. Understand that your desire for love will just keep coming and coming and coming, keeping you slightly off-balance and pushing you to constantly revise your ideas about who you are. Now read this declaration from the poet Rilke and claim it as your own: “My blood is alive with many voices that tell me I am made of longing.”


CAPRICORN

(Dec. 22-Jan. 19):
According to physicists Yong Mao and Thomas Fink, you can tie a necktie in 85 different kinds of knots, but only 13 of those actually look good. I encourage you to apply that way of thinking to pretty much everything you do in the coming week. Total success will elude you if you settle on functional solutions that aren’t aesthetically pleasing. You should make sure that beauty and usefulness are thoroughly interwoven. This is especially true in matters regarding your love life and close relationships. Togetherness needs a strong dose of lyrical pragmatism. Happy Valentine Daze, Capricorn!

AQUARIUS
(Jan. 20-Feb. 18):
”All these years I’ve been searching for an impossible love,” said French writer Marguerite Duras late in her life. The novels and films she created reflect that feeling. Her fictional characters are often engaged in obsessive quests for an ideal romance that would allow them to express their passion perfectly and fulfill their longing completely. In the meantime, their actual relationships in the real world suffer, even as their starry-eyed aspirations remain forever frustrated. I invite you, Aquarius, to celebrate this Valentine season by taking a vow of renunciation. Summon the courage to forswear Duras’ doomed approach to love.

PISCES
(Feb. 19-March 20):
To avoid getting hacked, computer tech experts advise you to choose strong, hard-to-guess passwords for your online accounts. Among the worst choices to protect your security are “123456,” “iloveyou,” “qwerty” and, of course, “password.” Judging by the current astrological omens, Pisces, I’m guessing that you should have a similar approach to your whole life in the coming days. It’s important that you be picky about who you allow into your heart, mind and soul. Make sure that only the most trustworthy and sensitive people can gain access. Your metaphorical password might be something like this: m*y#s@t&e?r%y.

Homework: Confess, brag and expostulate about what inspires you to love. Got to freewillastrology.com and click on “Email Rob.”

Go to RealAstrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny’s EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES and DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES. The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at  1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700.

Free Will Astrology

Free Will Astrology

 

ARIES
(March 21-April 19):
”What we need is more people who specialize in the impossible,” said poet Theodore Roethke. For the foreseeable future, Aries, you could and should be a person like that. I’m not saying that you will forevermore be a connoisseur of amazements and a massager of miracles and a magnet for unexpected beauty. But if you want to, you can play those roles for the next few weeks. How many exotic explorations and unlikely discoveries can you cram into your life between now and March 1? How many unimaginable transformations can you imagine?

TAURUS
(April 20-May 20):
North America’s most powerful and iconic waterfall is Niagara Falls, which straddles the border between the U.S. and Canada. In 1969, the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers managed to shut down the American side of this elemental surge for a few months. They performed their monumental magic by building a dam made with 27,800 tons of rocks. Their purpose was to do research and maintenance on the stony foundation that lies beneath the water. I’m thinking that you Tauruses could accomplish a metaphorical version of that feat in the coming weeks: some awesome task that allows you to peer beneath the surface and make refinements that enhance your stability for a long time.

GEMINI
(May 21-June 20):
National Geographic reports that dung beetles have an intimate relationship not only with the earth but also with the stars. Scientists in South Africa found that the bugs use the Milky Way Galaxy to orient themselves while rolling their precious balls of dung to the right spot for safekeeping. The bright band of starlight in the sky serves as a navigational aid. I nominate the dung beetle to be your power animal in the coming weeks, Gemini. It will be prime time for you, too, to align your movements and decisions with a bigger picture and a higher power. (Read about the research here: http://tinyurl.com/GalacticBeetles.)

CANCER
(June 21-July 22):
You should go right ahead and compare oranges and apples in the coming week, Cancerian. Honey and butter, too: It’s fine to compare and contrast them. Science and religion. Bulldogs and Siamese cats. Dew and thunderclaps. Your assignment is to create connections that no one else would be able to make . . . to seek out seemingly improbable harmonies between unlikely partners . . . to dream up interesting juxtapositions that generate fertile ideas. Your soul needs the delight and challenge of unexpected blending.

LEO
(July 23-Aug. 22):
The collection called Grimm’s Fairy Tales includes the story “The Devil and His Grandmother.” In one scene, the devil’s grandmother is petting and rubbing her grandson’s head. Or at least that’s what the English translations say. But the authors wrote in German, and in their original version of the text, grandma is in fact plucking lice from the devil’s hair. Your job in the coming week, Leo, is to ensure that no one sanitizes earthy details like that. Be vigilant for subtle censorship. Keep watch for bits of truth that have been suppressed. You need the raw feed that comes straight from the source.

VIRGO
(Aug. 23-Sept. 22):
In her book Jung and Tarot, Sallie Nichols notes that the sixteenth card in most Tarot decks portrays lightning as a hostile force: “jagged, zigzag strokes that slash across the sky like angry teeth.” But there’s one deck, the Marseilles Tarot, that suggests a kinder, gentler lightning. The yellow and red phenomenon descending from the heavens resembles a giant feather duster; it looks like it would tickle and clean rather than burn. I suspect you’ll be visited by a metaphorical version of this second kind of lightning sometime soon, Virgo. Prepare to be tickled and cleaned!

LIBRA
(Sept. 23-Oct. 22):
Years ago, “bastard” was a derisive term for a child born to unmarried parents. It reflected the conventional moral code, which regarded a “birth out of wedlock” as scandalous. But I think we can safely say that this old dogma has been officially retired. According to recent statistics compiled by the CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention), over 40 percent of the kids born in the U.S. are to unmarried mothers. Just goes to show you that not all forbidden acts remain forbidden forever. What was unthinkable or out of bounds or not allowed at one time may evolve into what’s normal. I bring this up, Libra, because it’s an excellent time for you to divest yourself of a certain taboo that’s no longer necessary or meaningful.


SCORPIO

(Oct. 23-Nov. 21):
While trekking up Mount Katahdin in Maine, naturalist Henry David Thoreau had a “mountain-top experience” that moved him to observe, “I stand in awe of my body.”  You’re due for a similar splash of illumination, Scorpio. The time is right for you to arrive at a reverent new appreciation for the prodigious feats that your physical organism endlessly performs for you. What could you do to encourage such a breakthrough? How can you elevate your love for the flesh and blood that houses your divine spark?


SAGITTARIUS

(Nov. 22-Dec. 21):
How do you like your caviar? Do you prefer it to be velvety and smooth, or would you rather have it be full of strong, fishy taste? If it’s the first option, beluga caviar is your best option. If the second, sevruga should be your favorite. What? You say you never eat caviar? Well, even if you don’t, you should regard the choice between types of caviar as an apt metaphor for the coming week. You can either have velvety smoothness or a strong taste, but not both. Which will it be? Set your intention.

CAPRICORN
(Dec. 22-Jan. 19):
”Dear Astrology Guy: I have been reading your horoscopes since I was 19. For a while, I liked them. They were fun riddles that made me think. But now I’ve soured on them. I’m sick and tired of you asking me to transform myself. You just keep pushing and pushing, never satisfied, always saying it’s time to improve myself or get smarter or fix one of my bad habits. It’s too much! I can’t take it any more! Sometimes I just want to be idle and lazy. Your horoscopes piss me off! – Crabby Capricorn.” Dear Crabby: I’ve got some good news. In the coming week, you are completely excused from having to change anything about yourself or your life. Stay exactly the same! Be frozen in time. Resist the urge to tinker. Take a vacation from life’s relentless command to evolve.

AQUARIUS
(Jan. 20-Feb. 18):
Young art student Andrzej Sobiepan sneaked into Poland’s National Museum with a painting he had done himself and managed to surreptitiously mount it on one of the walls. It hung there for a while before authorities noticed it and took it down. “I decided that I will not wait 30 or 40 years for my works to appear at a place like this,” he said. “I want to benefit from them in the here and now.” This is the kind of aggressive self-expression I’d like to see you summon in the coming weeks, Aquarius. Don’t wait for the world to come and invite you to do what you want to do. Invite yourself. P.S. The English translation of Sobiepan’s Polish last name means “his own master.” What can you do to be more of your own master?

PISCES
(Feb. 19-March 20):
Before any system can leap to a higher level of organization, says poet Susan Goldsmith Wooldridge, it has to undergo dissolution. “Unraveling or disintegrating is a vital, creative event making room for the new,” she declares. Guess what time it is for the system we all know and love as YOU, Pisces? That’s right: It’s a perfect moment to undo, dismantle, and disperse . . . as well as to unscramble, disentangle, and disencumber. Be of good cheer! Have faith that you will be generating the conditions necessary for the rebirth that will follow. “To change from one reality to another,” writes Wooldridge, “a thing first must turn into nothing.” (Her book is Poemcrazy.)

Homework: If you’d like to join the Flaming Jewel Church of Living Outside of Time, simply smash a clock or watch with a hammer on February 9 at exactly 12:20 p.m.

Go to RealAstrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny’s EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES and DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES. The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700.

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  1. Multiple Ones: Contemporary Perspectives in Printmedia

    August 22 @ 8:00 am - October 23 @ 8:00 pm
  2. Loni Love Headlines Levity Live

    September 20 @ 7:30 pm - September 22 @ 9:00 pm
  3. 2019 Quilt Rooms and Gardens Tour

    September 21 @ 10:00 am - 4:00 pm
  4. 3rd Annual Southeast Ventura County YMCA Reach For The Stars Gala

    September 21 @ 4:00 pm - 9:00 pm
  5. Premiere Party for “Beyond Function: Fiber, Wood and Clay”

    September 21 @ 4:00 pm - 6:00 pm
  6. Fundraiser for Channel Islands Marine and Wildlife Institute (CIMWI)

    September 21 @ 5:30 pm - 9:30 pm
  7. Oxnard National Drive Electric Vehicle (EV) Showcase

    September 22 @ 9:30 am - 3:00 pm
  8. Chamber On The Mountain presents Tomer Gewirtzman, Pianist

    September 22 @ 3:00 pm - 5:00 pm
  9. Morning Stretch to Classic Rock

    September 23 @ 8:00 am - 8:45 am
  10. Dancer’s Body Barre

    September 23 @ 7:00 pm - 8:00 pm

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