Free Will Astrology

Free Will Astrology

ARIES
(March 21-April 19):

“It is the greatest of all mistakes to do nothing because you can only do a little,” said the writer Sydney Smith. While this is always good advice, it’s especially apt for you right now. You’re in a phase when giant leaps of faith are irrelevant, and fast, massive accomplishments are impossible. This is the season of incremental progress; a time when painstaking attention to detail is your best strategy. Inch by inch, Aries. Hour by hour.

TAURUS
(April 20-May 20):

An engineering company has plans to grow flowers on the moon. Paragon Space Development intends to land mustard seeds inside a small greenhouse dome on the lunar surface by 2011. If all goes well, they will bloom within two weeks, and, thanks to the marvels of communications technology, we earthlings will soon thereafter view one of the most iconic photographs ever seen. Paragon hopes the inspiring image of yellow blossoms on the lunar landscape will incite a new wave of space exploration. Take your cue from this vignette, Taurus. Come up with a riveting new personal symbol: some photo or image or object that thrills your imagination and inspires you to outdo all your previous efforts in pursuit of an ambitious future goal.

GEMINI
(May 21-June 20):

“A Pain in the Ash: Volcano Irritates Alaskans.” That was the headline of a news story about how the people of Anchorage, Alaska, are dealing with the erratic behavior of nearby Mount Redoubt. As of this writing, the volcano hasn’t exploded yet, but it keeps hinting that it might. Meanwhile, it regularly burps clouds of ash that float around and wreak a lot of inconvenience. “I would like it to have a big boom and get it over with,” said one native. In accordance with your astrological omens, Gemini, let’s use this situation as a metaphor for your life. The fact is, there’s no sense in getting irritated or impatient with the primal force in your vicinity. Doing so would be a waste of your precious emotional energy. Besides, cultivating calm equanimity is the best way to acquire the grace you’ll need to respond appropriately when the primal force does go boom.

CANCER
(June 21-July 22):

If His Holiness the Dalai Lama (like you, born under the sign of the Crab) had a Twitter account, I bet that this week he’d tweet something like this: “Nothing’s permanent and we should never be attached to anything, but wow! — the goodness rising up now may send ripples through eternity!” What he’d mean is that while reality is always in continual flux, and it’s wise not to cling obsessively to either its pleasures or sadnesses, the powerfully healing mojo that’s moving through Cancerians’ lives these days could have long-term positive consequences.

LEO
(July 23-Aug. 22):

America’s Republican Party has lost a lot of style points lately. Its national committee chairman Michael Steele even went so far as to say, “We need to uptick our image with everyone, including one-armed midgets.” Your reputation isn’t anywhere near as in need of rehabilitation, Leo — in part because you don’t make references about one-armed midgets — but it could still use some work. Fortunately, the coming weeks will be an excellent time, astrologically speaking, for you to not only tidy up your stature, but also to actually enhance your respectability and increase your influence. Take advantage!

VIRGO
(Aug. 23-Sept. 22):

The coming weeks would be an excellent time to devote extra care and attention to your home away from home — you know, the place that’s second-best at making you feel like you truly belong here on this earth. Enhance the ambiance in this alternate power spot, Virgo. Add beauty to the decor. Let the people who hang out there know how much they mean to you. And if you don’t yet have such a sanctuary, then I suggest you hunt one down. You need to experience more of the pleasurable stimulation that comes from going back and forth between two different comfort zones.

LIBRA
(Sept. 23-Oct. 22):

You may not literally have X-ray vision right now, but you certainly have a metaphorical version of it. With a little concentration, I bet you could peer beneath the surface of anything you want to. My analysis of the omens suggests that you have the power to see hidden agendas, invisible frameworks, and maneuverings that are unfolding behind the scenes. Please keep in mind that not all of the secret stuff is corrupt or insidious. Some of it is quite beautiful, even elevating. Don’t push your enhanced perceptiveness to search exclusively for the worst in human nature.

SCORPIO
(Oct. 23-Nov. 21):

According to the legends of the Scottish Highlanders, this is the anniversary of the fallen angels’ expulsion from paradise. That’s why, they said, it was so crucial for humans to be well-behaved at this time. To blindly indulge in sin and error would set up a resonance with the malevolent exiles, making oneself vulnerable to being preyed on by them. While you and I can chuckle at this quaint superstition, it does have a grain or truth for you to meditate on. At this juncture in your yearly cycle, you tend to be more receptive to bad influences than usual. That’s why you should do everything you can imagine to attract good influences and cultivate experiences that give you the feeling that this world is a paradise.

SAGITTARIUS
(Nov. 22-Dec. 21):

An Arizona woman was jogging in the woods when a fox ran out of nowhere, leaped up and clamped down on her arm with its teeth. Unable to pry it loose, the woman ran back to her car, which was a mile away, with the fox hanging on. She drove herself to the hospital, where doctors removed the creature and treated her successfully. I imagine that right about now, you might feel a bit as she did, Sagittarius: bustling along energetically, in a state of alert, as some nagging vexation clings to you parasitically. Now here’s the good news: I predict that you will get rid of the pest, and will ever thereafter enjoy an enhanced confidence in your ability to function well under pressure.

CAPRICORN
(Dec. 22-Jan. 19):

Since it’s the Capricornian season of romance, I thought I’d give you some tips on how to thrive in the mysterious, paradoxical, crazy-making game of love. 1. Love shouldn’t be a lottery, so don’t gamble on unlikely odds. 2. Love shouldn’t be a power struggle, so try to purge any unconscious yearnings you might have to control people you care for. 3. Love can’t be a self- sustaining perpetual motion machine, so I hope you work on it at least as hard as you do at your job. 4. Love isn’t an endless vacation in the promised land, but neither is it a wrestling match with a three-legged pit bull from hell, so don’t you dare indulge in all-or-nothing fantasies.

AQUARIUS
(Jan. 20-Feb. 18):

The kitchen table will be a power spot for you in the coming weeks. Your own table will be a supreme vortex for visionary brainstorming, but even those in other households could be epicenters for brilliant planning, crucial shifts in attitude, and increased solidarity among allies. To encourage eruptions of creative behavior, make sure the tables are nice and clean. Try to have good food and drink on hand. I also suggest you keep at least one notebook and pen lying around.

PISCES
(Feb. 19-March 20):

In April, I was grateful whenever you obeyed all the signs, stuck to the beaten paths, worked a little harder than usual, and averted your eyes from the places where “interesting” bursts of chaos were unfolding. In May, I’d appreciate it if you did pretty much the opposite: Question authority rigorously, wander off into less-traveled regions, play harder than usual, and tune in to commotions that could be productive learning experiences. In the past month, Pisces, I was hopeful that you’d pay your debts to society before society’s collection agency started making harassing calls. In the coming month, I invite you to ask everyone to do you extra favors.

Homework: What’s the best thing you could give right now to the person you care for the most? Testify at FreeWillAstrology.com.

 

 

Free Will Astrology

Free Will Astrology

ARIES
(March 21-April 19):

Astrology and tarot cards are my favorite divinatory tools, but I also get a lot of use out of magnetic poetry kits. These are boxes full of evocative words and symbols in the form of refrigerator magnets. Sometimes, after analyzing your astrological omens, I’ll close my eyes, beam a question out into the ethers, and pluck a few magnets at random from one of my poetry kits. I just did that for you. "What are the keys to unlocking the enormous reserves of energy that are potentially available for Aries folks right now?" I asked. Here’s the message that came: "swooping orgasms & laughing tears." (Or it could also be arranged this way: "laughing orgasms & swooping tears.")

TAURUS
(April 20-May 20):

Rachael Yanetta, a young English woman, got a bellyache while working her regular job at the local pub. Despite the pain, she toughed it out until her shift was over, then went home. Her distress increased, though, and at 3 a.m. she checked into the hospital. A little over an hour later, to her shock, she gave birth to her first child, having been unaware she was pregnant until the very end of her nine-month term. I predict a comparable sequence for you in the coming days, Taurus. You’ll power through some perplexing anomaly that leads to the unexpected arrival of a new creation or vital revelation.

GEMINI
(May 21-June 20):

As I close my eyes and ask my deep self for a psychic vision that symbolizes your current astrological omens, here’s what I see: You’re trying to look relaxed even though you have one foot on a dock and one foot on a boat as the boat pulls away. How should we interpret this scene? Here’s what I think: It seems likely that at any minute now you will have to commit yourself to either the dock, the boat or the water.

CANCER
(June 21-July 22):

This would be an excellent time for you to lead a populist revolt to overthrow the abusive authorities or out-of- touch elites who have been working their dumb magic for far too long. It would also be a perfect moment for you to stop cooperating with energy-draining situations that undermine your autonomy. The Age of Passivity is ending, thank Goddess. Launching the Age of Awakening may not be easy or fast, but you will attract extra help and encouragement if you do it now.

LEO
(July 23-Aug. 22):

"I am not interested in money," said actress Marilyn Monroe. "I just want to be wonderful." Consider the possibility of trying out that approach for a while, Leo. I’m not, of course, encouraging you to be apathetic toward financial matters. But I do think it’s an excellent time to for you to specialize in making yourself more wonderful. The cosmic signs say that you now have access to unprecedented reserves of the most profound kind of charm (not the cheap, fake, manipulative stuff). They also suggest that certain qualities in you that have previously been merely fine are primed to evolve into being amazingly marvelous.

VIRGO
(Aug. 23-Sept. 22):

I once had a Virgo girlfriend who was exceedingly well-organized. The capstone of her heroic efforts to keep life rigorously ordered was her approach to her underwear. Each of her panties was embroidered with the name of a day of the week. In the large drawer where they were kept, all the Mondays were in a neat pile at the upper left-hand corner, followed by the rest of the days in their proper sequence. She was always able to grab the correct pair, even when she was half-asleep and the room was dark. If I were going to contact her now, I’d recommend that she should, for a change, arrange her intimate items out of order, and maybe wear Monday on Friday, or put Tuesday on inside-out on Saturday. According to my reading of the omens, this kind of playful self-trickery would set the right tone for you Virgos; it would encourage the universe to send you the benevolent interruptions and interesting interventions you need.

LIBRA
(Sept. 23-Oct. 22):

"Being understood is not the most essential thing in life," said actress Jodie Foster. While that may be true for her, I bet you won’t turn it down if a flood of appreciation and acknowledgement comes your way in the next few weeks. According to my reading of the astrological omens, you now have the potential to be better understood than maybe you’ve been in a long time. I suggest you take maximum advantage of this good fortune. Make it easy for people to see you for who you really are.

SCORPIO
(Oct. 23-Nov. 21):

The famous physicist Robert Oppenheimer sometimes displayed a disarming humility. "There are children playing in the streets who could solve some of my top problems in physics," he said once, "because they have modes of sensory perception that I lost long ago." I invite you to consider the possibility that you, too, could learn a lot from people you regard as beneath you or utterly unlike you. It’s one of those rare phases in your astrological cycle when useful revelations are likely to arrive from outside your normal frame of reference. (P.S. Animals might be great teachers as well.)

SAGITTARIUS
(Nov. 22-Dec. 21):

It’s a Love Emergency! Am I right? There’s a growing itch in the romantic sphere, and it needs immediate scratching. I mean it really can’t wait for a few more days to pass; something’s got to be done soon. It may be true that this thickening of the plot has been under way for quite a while, and its growing urgency may have snuck up on you. It also may be true that the shift will ultimately be a promising development. But that doesn’t mean you can afford to be casual about it. Take action!

CAPRICORN
(Dec. 22-Jan. 19):

From an astrological point of view, the coming weeks will be an excellent time to start a band and record an album. Your creativity is waxing, your attunement with the right side of your brain is especially sweet, and you will benefit immensely from anything you do to become less of a spectator and more of a participant. To jumpstart the process, go to Wikipedia and click on "random article." That’s the name of your band. Then go to en.wikiquote.org and click on "random page." The last few words of the last quote on that page will be your album’s title. Finally, go to flckr.com, click on "the last 7 days," and choose a photo from the new page to be your CD cover. (My band is Widemouth Blindcat, our album is "More Time for Dreaming," and our cover art is a spiral staircase from here: tinyurl.com/c89rt7.)

AQUARIUS
(Jan. 20-Feb. 18):

You’ve said enough for the time being. You have expressed the hell out of yourself and have been thorough in providing your vision of how the collaborative efforts should unfold. But now I think you should cultivate the power of silence. Keep your evolving thoughts to yourself for a while so that they can ripen in your imagination, and allow the ideas you have already put out there to fully work their way into the imaginations of others. In early May, it will be time to jump back in with a new dose of your insight and inspiration. By then, people should be begging you for more.

PISCES
(Feb. 19-March 20):

As a leading practitioner of magical thinking, I regard it as my responsibility to serve as a kind of Quality Control Board. Excessive trust in invisible forces and odd coincidences, after all, can be as hazardous to your intelligence as blind faith in pure reason. This week, in fact, I’d rather see you operate like a scientist than a mystic. I hope you’ll evaluate every situation by invoking the powers of unbiased perceptivity and lucid objectivity. So please don’t heed anyone’s mumbo-jumbo, especially if it’s fear-based. Reject supernatural explanations if natural ones make equal sense. Be assured that when superstitious fantasies pop up, they’ll have little to do with what’s actually happening.

Homework: Go outside at night, make two fists, and punch the sky 10 times while you announce, "Hey, God, listen up! I’m gonna fight for what’s rightly mine!"

Free Will Astrology

Free Will Astrology

ARIES
(March 21-April 19):

One of the casualties of the recession has been grooming and primping. Many people are devoting less time and money to maintaining their appearance at peak levels. Makeup sales are down, and I’ve definitely been seeing more unkempt — or should I say raw and unadorned? — people lately. If you’ve been considering the possibility of cutting back on your own preening, Aries, now would be a good time to experiment. Why? For one thing, your natural attractiveness is especially strong these days. For another, you’re entering a phase when you’ll need people’s approval less than usual. There’s also the fact that anything you do to simplify your life will be a tonic for your mental health.

TAURUS
(April 20-May 20):

Artist Amy Marx makes gorgeous paintings of tornadoes. She’s your role model for the coming weeks, Taurus. I hope that she will inspire you to use your chaos productively … to welcome elemental energy as raw material for your efforts to beautify your world. Are you up to the challenge? I think you are, although you may have to expand your attitude toward certain phenomena that seem disruptive. (See Marx’s tornadoes here: tinyurl.com/78xg63.)

GEMINI
(May 21-June 20):

“I’m having a very good crisis,” financier George Soros said recently. The global economic turmoil that has brought such stress for so many other people has earned him millions of dollars. That’s no accident: A couple of years ago, Soros foresaw the approaching upheaval and made a raft of smart adjustments in anticipation. I predict that you will have your own very good crisis in the next few weeks, Gemini — especially if you set aside some time now to plan all the ways you might be able to capitalize on the upcoming challenges.

CANCER
(June 21-July 22):

What I’d really like to see you do in the coming weeks is party harder and party smarter than usual. In my astrological opinion, you’re most likely to attract life’s maximum generosity by shedding some of your social inhibitions and cultivating the pleasures of free-form networking. Believe me, I know how important it is for you to maintain the kind of strict boundaries that protect you from being overly influenced by other people. It’s what keeps you in close touch with your intuition. But for the foreseeable future, I think you’ll thrive on the unexpected blessings that come from giving yourself to the intelligence of the crowd.

LEO
(July 23-Aug. 22):

Some celebrities have hired ghostwriters to communicate for them via Twitter. In a recent tweet from rapper 50 Cent, actually sent by his operative Chris Romero, his fans were told that “My ambition leads me through a tunnel that never ends.” I hope you won’t follow 50 Cent’s lead in the coming weeks, Leo — either in the sense of hiring a ghost-Twitterer or in the sense of following your ambition down a tunnel that never ends. In my astrological opinion, you need to work on eliminating middlemen and go-betweens as you pursue your ambition through sunlit fields that lift your spirit.

VIRGO
(Aug. 23-Sept. 22):

I give thanks for the dented, rusty, brown and gray 1967 Chevy pickup truck that my neighbor parks askew on the shoulder of the road a few blocks from my house. Its messy appeal helps snap me back to sanity when my own perfectionism threatens to de-soul me, or when all the shiny, sleek, polished things of the world are on the verge of hypnotizing me into believing that they alone should be considered attractive. Are there equivalent icons in your life, Virgo? Funky, unwieldy, anomalous things that are sublime in their own way? I suspect you’ll benefit from their influence more than usual in the coming days.

LIBRA
(Sept. 23-Oct. 22):

Cracked.com ran an article on “5 Things You Think Will Make You Happy (But Won’t).” Here’s a hint about what those things are: fame, wealth, beauty, genius and power. You might want to go and read the essay at tinyurl.com/d974te. Even if you don’t entirely agree with its points, it should inspire you to get more realistic about what specifically does increase your levels of well-being. It happens to be an excellent phase of your astrological cycle to home in on the surprising and idiosyncratic truths about what helps you feel like you belong here on this planet.

SCORPIO
(Oct. 23-Nov. 21):

In Salman Rushdie’s book The Enchantress of Florence, an exasperated ally of the manipulative 16th-century politician Machiavelli tells him, “It’s your curse to see the world too f—ing clearly, and without a shred of kindness.” Some of you Scorpios suffer from a milder version of the same curse; and judging from the astrological omens, I’d say that right now you’re especially susceptible to the problems it can create. I do think there’s a way out for you, however; there’s a shift you can make to turn the curse into a blessing. Here’s what you have to do: See the world as f—ing clearly as you dare, but with a dose of compassion added. Then your shrewd perceptiveness will heal you and energize you. You may even spawn minor miracles by penetrating to the slippery truths hiding beneath the superficial appearances.

SAGITTARIUS
(Nov. 22-Dec. 21):

If intelligent extraterrestrial beings arrived on planet Earth and asked for a meeting, who would we send forth to serve as our ambassador? Believe it or not, the favorite choice, as determined in an Internet poll, was heavy metal musician and TV personality Ozzy Osbourne. Although he wouldn’t be my own top candidate, I could see how a Sagittarian pioneer like Osbourne would make sense. Your tribe is especially adept right now at facilitating unprecedented combinations. If anyone could successfully compare apples and oranges, it would be you. If anyone could explain to an anthropologist from Mars the deeper meaning of Paris Hilton and the Octo-Mom and the American government’s purchase of toxic assets, it would be you.

CAPRICORN
(Dec. 22-Jan. 19):

At the risk of endangering her own safety, a Capricorn woman I know intervened to protect a 14-year-old neighbor girl who was being beaten on the porch by her father. Another one of my Capricorn acquaintances informed her boss that she was offended by a certain unethical practice she’d discovered the company engaged in. You may not summon such extreme courage in the coming week, but I bet you’ll get close to it. It’s the Season of Fierce Integrity for you — a time to dig deeper as you demonstrate your intensely practical commitment to your core values.

AQUARIUS
(Jan. 20-Feb. 18):

I actually kind of hope that your brain is in major overload right now. I hope that you’re feeling a bit overwhelmed by all the new information you’ve absorbed, and that your imagination is a blur of wheels within wheels within wheels spinning at top speeds. In fact, I’ll go so far as to say that if this is the case, you’re definitely on the right track. You’re doing what’s necessary to prepare for rebuilding your foundation in May. And if for some reason there are no wheels within wheels within wheels spinning at top speeds — if your mind is as empty and clear as a cloudless blue sky in Montana — then you’re probably doing something wrong. So get out there and start stuffing it with new ideas, radical theories, crazy speculations, wild guesses and raw perceptions.

PISCES
(Feb. 19-March 20):

“I’m beginning to understand myself,” said jazz pianist Dave Brubeck, “but it would have been great to be able to understand myself when I was 20 rather than when I was 82.” While this might sound discouraging, it’s actually a prelude to some very good news: You now have extraordinary power to dramatically deepen your self-knowledge. Between now and May 20, you might even be able to extract insights into your own mysteries that would normally only be available to an 82-year-old.

Homework: Do you know how to turn one of your liabilities into an asset? I think you do. Prove it. Testify about your success at FreeWillAstrology.com.

 

Free Will Astrology

Free Will Astrology

ARIES
(March 21-April 19):

Your role model for the coming week is George Garratt, a British guy who legally changed his name to Captain Fantastic Faster Than Superman Spiderman Batman Wolverine Hulk And The Flash Combined. Like him, I hope you will be extravagant as you re-imagine your self-image … and be playful as you take serious actions that permanently change things … and mess with the status quo in experimental ways that aren’t dangerous but make you feel ecstatic to be alive.

TAURUS
(April 20-May 20):

“Men build too many walls and not enough bridges,” said Isaac Newton. I agree with that assessment in general, but I’m going to amend it a bit for your use. In my astrological opinion, you would benefit from constructing one more wall before embarking on a bridge-building campaign. In fact, it won’t make sense to erect all those new links in May unless you first burn down a bridge and fashion a fresh, fortified boundary.

GEMINI
(May 21-June 20):

During my daily bicycle jaunts, I have on occasion ridden by a certain construction site, observing as workers took several months to erect a home where once there was dirt. It turned out to be too monstrously big for my tastes, but I admire its craftsmanship, and the landscaping is impeccable, too. Today I saw that the workers had completed one last task: pouring the cement for the driveway. But something went awry. The lip of the driveway is a foot above the level of the road. There’s no way a car could make the transition without being damaged. Make sure that nothing similar happens in your sphere, Gemini. Maintain your concentration right to the end of the process you’ve been carrying out. Finish your masterpiece with a precise flourish.

CANCER
(June 21-July 22):

Executives at an Austrian insurance company have taken a novel approach to filling job openings in their sales division: They’re only seeking Capricorns, Tauruses, Leos, Aries and Aquarians. “A statistical study indicated that almost all of our best employees have one of those five star signs,” they said. I haven’t seen the study, but according to my personal analysis, it’s a mistake to leave Cancerians out of that privileged group — at least in 2009. The members of your tribe have exceptional powers of persuasion right now, as well as even more than your usual skill at tapping into the subconscious minds of those you’re working with. I believe these advantages will be especially potent in the coming weeks.

LEO
(July 23-Aug. 22):

French President Sarkozy’s best friend, advertising mogul Jacques Séguéla, has an unusual way of measuring success. If you don’t own a Rolex watch by the time you’re 50, he says, you’re a failure. I’m inclined to propose the opposite: If you do have a Rolex watch, no matter what age you are, you’re probably a failure. To be attached to such a conspicuous status symbol is a sign that your values are dominated by the transitory trivialities of materialism. Where do you stand on the matter, Leo? It’s a good time to think about it, because you’re in a phase when clarifying your definitions of high achievement is important.

VIRGO
(Aug. 23-Sept. 22):

You’re in luck, Virgo. Not so much in the sense of winning the lottery or scoring a major award, but in a more spiritual sense. According to my astrological analysis, you’re about to be blessed with glimpses of the beauty that has been hidden from you. Do you know “Auguries of Innocence,” the poem by William Blake?  I think you’ll experience what it describes: “To see a world in a grain of sand/ And a heaven in a wild flower,/ Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,/ And eternity in an hour.”

LIBRA
(Sept. 23-Oct. 22):

I once had a girlfriend who was tormented by her demons. As brilliant an artist as she was, as much good as she did in the world, she couldn’t get those jerks to stop whispering curses like “You’re a fraud” and “You’ll never make any money from doing what you’re good at” and “No one will ever love you for who you really are.” I did my best to silence the voices that plagued her. I tried to sing them to sleep or scare them away or make her feel so well-loved they’d die of malnutrition. But nothing worked, and she and I eventually broke up because of those demons. Since then, I’ve worked hard to improve my skills as an exorcist. As much as I’m inclined to use those skills to help you chase away the pests that are bugging you, however, that’s not necessary. You now have the power to perform a dramatic do-it-yourself banishing. So get to work!

SCORPIO
(Oct. 23-Nov. 21):

If you ever wanted to learn how to do lucid dreams or out-of-body travel or shamanic explorations that help you retrieve lost portions of your soul, this is an excellent time to begin. You’re in an astrological phase when the veil between this world and the other side is thinner than usual, and that means you could make connections that haven’t been possible before. If the things I mentioned in the beginning are too woo-woo or scary for you, there are other ways to take advantage of current conditions. First, you could conduct productive imaginary conversations with the spirits of dead friends and relatives. Second, you could do intense meditations in which you imprint the future with scenarios you’d love to see come to pass. And third, you’ll probably be able to incubate a highly informative dream by asking your unconscious mind a well-formulated question that you’d love to get guidance about.

SAGITTARIUS
(Nov. 22-Dec. 21):

At a Buddhist sanctuary in Khun Han, Thailand, monks have used a million beer bottles and soft drink bottles to build their temple. Bottle caps have come in handy, too, serving as the raw material for numerous mosaics portraying the Buddha. Your assignment, Sagittarius, is to draw inspiration from these geniuses. How could you take some profane elements of your life and turn them into a hotbed of sacred inspiration?

CAPRICORN
(Dec. 22-Jan. 19):

Sneezes and yawns rise up in you without your conscious bidding. You can try to stifle them, but they have a will of their own. Just imagine if you were also visited at unexpected moments by the need to howl. Suddenly and without warning, you felt an irrepressible urge to unleash bellowing sounds — simply because your instinctual nature was moved to forcefully express its joy at being alive, its longing to trumpet its power, and its impulse to shake up the stale vibes it found itself in. If there will ever come a time in your life when this marvel will actually happen, I bet it’ll be in the coming weeks.

AQUARIUS
(Jan. 20-Feb. 18):

It took him 48 hours, but a British soldier has broken the world’s record for number of seats sat upon. Terry Twining warmed his butt, if ever so briefly, on a total of 40,040 chairs in a football stadium last August. I suggest you do something comparable, Aquarius: Be simultaneously well-grounded and energetic. Keep your feet on the ground as you attempt to reach a new personal best. Find ways to derive excitement from repetitive tasks.

PISCES
(Feb. 19-March 20):

For a few dollars a month, you can have a computer’s synthesized voice utter a prayer for you three times a day. Informationageprayer.com promises to contact the Creator with incantations designed just for you. On the other hand, there’s a prayer warrior on my staff who will pray for you at no cost. Her name’s Grandma Betty, and I can personally attest to her skill and devotion. Send your requests to her in care of me at P.O. Box 150628, San Rafael, CA 94915. (There’s no catch. I won’t use or sell your address. Sorry, no e-mails.) In the meantime, I’m also going to be sending a series of rowdy solicitations on your behalf to the Divine Wow. Here’s the gist of what I’ll say: Please assist my Piscean readers in finding out exactly what they need to do to promote their financial stability.

Homework: You may be ready to resume some good habit you abandoned a while back. What is it? Testify at FreeWillAstrology.com.

Free Will Astrology

Free Will Astrology

ARIES
(March 21-April 19):

There’s plain old everyday lightning, which travels about five miles, and then there are superbolts — strokes of lightning that are a hundred times stronger than a normal flash and that can travel over 100 miles. In the coming weeks, Aries, your power levels could be more like these superbolts than your usual output. I suggest you take advantage. Just assume that you’ll be able to shed more light and attract more attention than usual.

TAURUS
(April 20-May 20):

When I was 19, I did Outward Bound, a wilderness survival course designed to make a man out of me. For 24 winter days, my team and I camped and traveled through New Hampshire’s White Mountains. Near the end of the ordeal, we were each required to do a three-day "solo" experience, during which time we were left alone with only three things: a sleeping bag, a canvas tarp to use as a partial shelter, and a box of mincemeat. The latter was a concentrated slab of food made of raisins, dried apples, lemon rind, cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves and dried beef. As I shivered and worried and sang loud songs and battled my own wild thoughts during those challenging but enlightening 72 hours, I grew to savor my odd-tasting delicacy. It kept me sane and grounded. As you prepare for your own rite of passage, Taurus, I suggest you procure the metaphorical equivalent of mincemeat.

GEMINI
(May 21-June 20):

As reported in UK’s Mirror, South African game warden Alex Larenty made a dramatic display of the trust he engenders among the animals under his care. Sidling up from behind to a full-grown male lion named Jamu, Larenty lightly grasped the beast’s balls and held on for a while. Jamu did not protest. I invite you to attempt the metaphorical equivalent of this brave encounter, Gemini. According to my reading of the omens, you have the power to play with fire — and I mean "play" in every sense of the word.

CANCER
(June 21-July 22):

In his book When the Impossible Happens, Stanislav Grof describes a man named Kurt who was "very unhappy if there were no problems in his life and adversaries against whom to fight." Kurt didn’t just thrive on crises; he felt uncomfortable if he didn’t have any. In my vision of how your destiny is unfolding, Cancerian, you now have the ability to express a more temperate version of this capacity. What I mean is that you could be highly entertained and resoundingly moved by the dilemmas that come into your vicinity, but without going overboard into obsession. You could embrace the challenges in appreciation for the way they compel you to get smarter, but without clutching them desperately.

LEO
(July 23-Aug. 22):

Philosopher Bertrand Russell wasn’t so much interested in the "will to believe." Rather, he preferred "the will to find out, which is the exact opposite." Your assignment, Leo, is to try his approach. Regard it as an experiment that you’ll have fun with. For a few days, refuse to jump to any conclusions whatsoever. Be skeptical of all theories about why things are the way they are. See if you can thrive without clinging to any ideology. Instead, be bursting with the intention to discover the raw truth, no matter where that leads you, and even if it seems to contradict your rules to live by.

VIRGO
(Aug. 23-Sept. 22):

There will be other times when I’ll encourage you to upgrade your relationships with your inner child, your inner mountain-climber, and your inner serpent. Right now, I hope you will take some quality time to commune with your inner elder. In my astrological opinion, you especially need the influence of this sage old part of you. He or she doesn’t care overly much about social status, romantic drama or the obsession of the moment, but is more interested in what provides deep meaning, generates love, and offers the big-picture perspective. So try this, Virgo: Leap ahead many years in your imagination and tune in to the guidance of the ripe and vibrant wise guy or wise woman you will ultimately become.

LIBRA
(Sept. 23-Oct. 22):

The sirens are enticing and wooing and tempting you again. This time they say have a really fabulous deal, even better than before. They’re sorry, by the way, about the somewhat deceptive advertising they used on the last occasion you came their way. They want to assure you that they’ll never again pull the bait-and-switch routine. So are you ready to give them another chance? Don’t look to me for advice on what you should do. I’m simply here to report the situation. Besides, you need a good stiff test of your powers of discernment. Oh, one other thing: To demonstrate their sincerity, the sirens are offering you their first song and dance absolutely free.

SCORPIO
(Oct. 23-Nov. 21):

The three tasks I think you should work on in the coming week are among the hardest any human being can attempt. Luckily, you now have an unusually strong aptitude for them, and are likely to receive unexpected assistance if you’re brave enough to plunge ahead. Here they are. 1. Interrupt and overthrow negative trains of thought right in the middle of their flow through your brain. 2. Negotiate partial solutions to complex problems. In other words, do the half-right thing when it’s impossible to do the totally right thing. 3. Understand that in order to graduate from a certain batch of weird karma that has persisted, you must completely accept the situation as it is, acknowledge your role in precipitating and prolonging it, and feel gratitude for all that it has taught you.

SAGITTARIUS
(Nov. 22-Dec. 21):

Some Japanese employees receive three days of "heartache leave" per year from the companies they work for. During those times, they can recover from sad experiences or romantic reversals. If it were up to me, every company in every country in the world would annually provide workers with the opposite kind of holiday: 10 days of "heart-soaring leave." These would be times devoted to cultivating blessed breakthroughs or celebrating great happiness. If there were such a system in place already, Sagittarius, I bet you’d use some of those heart-soaring days in the coming weeks.

CAPRICORN
(Dec. 22-Jan. 19):

Your symbol for the week is the Mariana Trench, which is the lowest place on the earth’s surface. Located underwater in the Pacific Ocean, it’s almost seven miles down — farther below sea level than Mt. Everest is above sea level. I chose this natural feature for you to play with in your imagination because I’m hoping it will inspire you to explore the extreme depths. The coming days will be an excellent time to get better acquainted with the stuff that’s at the very bottom of your world.

AQUARIUS
(Jan. 20-Feb. 18):

Your IQ has crept up beyond its usual level, and may ascend even higher in the coming days. I suspect you’re poised to erupt with a host of sharp insights, and maybe some brilliant analyses or strokes of genius as well. Why? How? It may have to do with the way the planets are massaging your brain chemistry. Or perhaps it’s because you smell freedom, and your libido is boosting your intelligence with the enhancements that only the onset of exhilaration can provide. I recommend that you milk this gift for all it’s worth. Don’t waste time on trivial conquests like polishing off crossword puzzles or acing online personality tests. Try to solve the mystery of the ages, or at least your two knottiest problems.

PISCES
(Feb. 19-March 20):

"So I sing to my seeds," says gardener Leslie Gaydos. "What about it?" Although she sounds a bit defensive about treating her unsprouted kernels like sentient beings, I hope you won’t be in the least apologetic as you carry out your assignment: Serenade your seeds. Bathe them in your tender concern.  Infuse them with your intelligent love. Whether your seeds are literal plants or more metaphorical in nature, make it your priority to sweet-talk them and guide them into the next phase of their growth.

Homework: Are you actually the person you say you are? Prove it. Go to FreeWillAstrology.com and click on "Email Rob."

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