Month: July 2006

Star Jones Reynolds: weight loss lies?

The morning television show, The View, has been in the news lately. The reason is that one of its co-hosts, Star Jones Reynolds, left the show on what appears to be bad terms. As a result of the added attention given to the show, the question of how Star Jones Reynolds lost over 150 pounds in little time is being questioned. Star Jones Reynolds says it was diet and exercise. Some are saying gastric bypass. She looks a little gaunt to me, and I wanted to get your thoughts on the difference between surgery and the natural way of losing weight. — Betsy J., Ventura I am fully aware of the drama that has taken place with the popular diva show, The View. I’ve also observed the rapid weight loss of Star Jones Reynolds. Most recently, on Larry King Live, Star Jones Reynolds finally announced that she had weight-loss surgery for medical reasons. She made it clear that her decision was personal and that in no way did she mislead viewers to thinking she lost weight through eating healthfully and exercising regularly. As a fan of The View and one who has worked intimately with a wide array of people, I disagree with Star Jones Reynolds. From hope to despair For numerous reasons, Star Jones Reynolds deceived the public and disempowered many overweight people who looked to her for...

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~ ASTROLOGY ~

ARIES (March 21-April 19) Three years before Dan Brown\’s The Da Vinci Code came out, my book The Televisionary Oracle was published. In it, I riffed extensively on Mary Magdalene\’s role as Jesus\’s consort, collaborator, and co-creator of Christianity–similar in ways to Brown\’s themes. Sales of my tome are approaching 10,000, while Brown\’s have topped 61 million. Why the contrast? His work is a linear detective story, while mine is an experimental blend of magical realism, prophetic philosophy, and oracular poetry. His characterizations and plot hew to established conventions of mainstream fiction, while mine spring from my muse and real life. The difference between our approaches is comparable to the choice you have ahead of you, Aries. You can opt for greater popularity and loyalty to convention, or you can choose to be more of a secret as you rigorously follow the promptings of your inner voice. TAURUS (April 20-May 20) Once you open a can of worms, the only way to re-can the buggers is to use a larger can. So says Zymurgy\’s First Law of Evolving Systems Dynamics. I urge you to keep that in mind during the coming week, Taurus. You or someone close to you may suffer from a blissful mania or temporary insanity that leads them to think that liberating the canned worms is a wise idea. Maybe it will ultimately prove to be...

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Members lonely

This is gonna sound like a joke, but I swear it\’s not. I\’m an unattractive guy (not hideous, but pretty ugly) who\’s overweight and really socially awkward. When it comes to talking with women, I just clam up. About the only thing I have going for me is a huge penis. While attractive guys with tiny penises and ugly dudes with suave personalities can land women, I never even get a girl to go home with me, let alone get into a relationship, which is what I want. I know a lot of women don\’t care about size, but I also know some do. Am I crazy to think some women would look past my faults if only they knew what I was packing? — Big Loser So you\’re fat, ugly and socially awkward. Is there an armed guard keeping you out of the gym? Is the path to the salad bar mined with plastic explosive? And, before you enter a nightclub, does the bouncer slap duct tape over your mouth and tie one hand behind your back so all you can do is use your one free hand to point to your massive rod? Probably half the successful male comedians look like they fell face first out of the womb onto the ugly stick. But for a few exceptions, the other half look like they came out clutching...

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~ MOVIE TIMES ~

CAMARILLO Paseo Camarillo Cinemas 390 Lantana St. 383-2267 An Inconvenient Truth Fri.-Sat., 11:30 a.m., 2, 4:30, 7, 9:15 p.m.; Sun.-Thurs., 11:30 a.m., 2, 4:30, 7 p.m. A Prairie Home Companion Fri.-Sat., 11:45 a.m., 2:15, 4:45, 7:15, 9:40 p.m.; Sun.-Thurs., 11:45 a.m., 2:15, 4:45, 7:15 p.m. Wordplay Fri.-Sat., 12 noon, 2:30, 4:55, 7:30, 9:30 p.m.; Sun.-Thurs., 12 noon, 2:30, 4:55, 7:30 p.m. Edwards Cinema 680 Ventura Blvd. 383-8866 Cars Fri.-Thurs., 12:40, 3:40, 6:40, 9:40 p.m. Click Fri.-Thurs., 11:35 a.m., 2:05, 4:45, 7:35, 10:15 p.m. The Devil Wears Prada Fri.-Sat., 10:45 a.m., 11:40 a.m., 1:30, 2:25, 4:20, 5:10, 7:10, 7:55, 9:55, 10:40 p.m.; Sun.-Thurs., 10:45 a.m., 11:40 a.m., 1:30, 2:25, 4:20, 5:10, 7:10, 7:55, 9:55 p.m. The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift Fri.-Thurs., 11:30 a.m., 4:40, 9:50 p.m. Free Family Film Festival – Today 10:00 am Free Family Film Festival – Tue & Wed 10 am The Lake House Fri.-Thurs., 2:10, 7:20 p.m. Nacho Libre Fri. 3, 5:15, 7:40, 10:10, 12:35 p.m.; Sat.-Thurs., 12:35, 3, 5:15, 7:40, 10:10 p.m. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest Fri.-Sat., 9:15, 10, 12 noon, 12:30, 1:15, 3:30, 4, 4:30, 7, 7:30, 8, 10:30, 11, 11:30 p.m.; Sun.-Mon., 10, 12 noon, 12:30, 1:15, 3:30, 4, 4:30, 7, 7:30, 8, 10:30 p.m.; Tues.-Wed., 12 noon, 12:30, 1:15, 3:30, 4, 4:30, 7, 7:30, 8, 10:30 p.m.; Thurs. 10, 12 noon, 12:30, 1:15, 3:30, 4, 4:30, 7,...

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