Living La Vida Rear Window

Remember that Alfred Hitch-cock movie where Jimmy Stewart had a broken leg and was stuck in a wheelchair, watching all the events of his neighborhood from the back window of his apartment? Well, except for not having Grace Kelly doting on me or Raymond Burr killing people across the courtyard, my situation is almost a little bit identical. Y’see, I had foot surgery recently, and since then have had as little mobility as the hero of that movie. But instead of soaking up everything from the back window of my apartment, I've been staring fixedly at my apartment’s other window: the TV screen, emblazoned with a breathless parade of DVDs from the through-the-mail rental places.

Those places are Blockbuster and Netflix, and I’ve discovered the pros and cons of each. Blockbuster has a special feature that allows you to return your DVD at the actual store, and receive a free swap for doing so (in addition to the next film in your queue mailed automatically from Big Computer). However, Blockbuster does not rent any film with a stronger rating than R, thereby making it the retail tool of the Motion Picture Ratings Board, a group of gore-loving, love-hating heathens who decide for us what constitutes too much sex. Screw that. Or not.

Netflix, on the other hand, has an unabashed selection of everything. They even have the documentary This Film Is Not Yet Rated that reveals how corrupt the Motion Picture Ratings Board is. (Interestingly, this DVD is not available at Blockbuster.) However, Netflix doesn’t have stores, so you can't play switcheroo for double movies. They try to make up for it by offering some films as downloads directly to your computer, but this option is only available for PC, not for Mac. So you decide who should get your business: the boycotters of Macintosh, or the boycotters of free artistic expression. It’s the worst choice since Sophie’s, I tell ya.

Without further ado, allow me to walk you through the highs and lows of my recent retinue of rentals. The Lives of Others — last year's Oscar for best foreign film — is stunning filmmaking, portraying the stifling of the artist (hear that, Blockbuster?) in Berlin-Wall-era East Germany. And to be doubly impressed, watch the interview with the director included on the DVD; it is one of the most intelligent and inspiring glimpses into an artist’s mind I’ve seen.

Going from fine art to popcorn, I next recommend The Last Mimzy. Yeah, it's a kid-friendly sci-fi/fantasy. But a really great kids movie will transcend its demographic, and this one has the goods. Then there’s Music and Lyrics, with an irreverent-as-usual Hugh Grant and a refreshingly ultra-neurotic Drew Barrymore. It’s more Honey-Baked-Ham than Hamlet, but worth some of your veg time. Also going a rung or two higher than expected is Freedom Writers with Hillary Swank, which starts off as your standard naïve-white-teacher-tries-to-reach-tough-ghetto-kids movie, but ends up achieving much-better-ness with its storytelling. And it’s a true story. I was a blubbering pile of goo by the end; you may or may not blubber or gelatinize.

Rounding out my faves are the best films in years about Really Old Horndogs and Irish Transvestites. Venus has Peter O’Toole as the horndog, and he hits every beat with a consistency you might not expect from the really old. However, it is Vanessa Redgrave’s performance as his ex-wife, in three short scenes, that takes the prize. The Irish Transvestite winner is Breakfast on Pluto (directed by Neil Jordan, who is also responsible for The Crying Game — the only other Irish Transvestite movie I can think of). Cillian Murphy plays plucky unlucky gay lad Patrick (who prefers to be called Saint Kitty) with style and fearlessness. While I would’ve preferred less of the depressing tragedies that befall him through most of the picture (the Irish people involved in this project refer to it as one of the more joy-filled to ever come out of their country — go figure), the ending scene of the movie is splendid, wistful and inspiring.

And here are some titles to avoid: Running with Scissors isn’t awful, just extremely disappointing, with an uneven tone and a waste of terrific source material. The Bridge to Terabithia sucks, regardless of what those Ebert and Bleebert guys say; there is a willing suspension of disbelief necessary for this thing to work, and I wasn’t willing. Spider-Man 3 is bloated with way too many plot points and way too little inspiration; imagine somebody overeating mercilessly and then vomiting portions of it back up at you for 2 hours and 15 minutes.

I'll end with one last recommendation: the box sets of Weeds, with Mary-Louise Parker. Netflix and Blockbuster both allow you to rent each season one disc at a time, and if you haven’t watched these episodes on Showtime, do yourself a favor and watch them now. You will be hard pressed to find better writing, performances or boundary-pushing depictions of suburbia. Why, if Jimmy Stewart had been watching the goings-on of these neighbors from his wheelchair, he might've ignored Grace Kelly altogether.