~ ASTROLOGY ~

ARIES

(March 21-April 19)

"The honest man must be a perpetual renegade," said French essayist Charles Péguy. The honest woman must be one, too, I would add. While that\’s always a good rule to keep in mind, it will be especially apropos for you in the coming weeks, Aries. If you hope to remain true to yourself and in alignment with your highest integrity, you will have to maintain a rebellious vigilance. By the way, that does not mean you should constantly be agitated, fuming, and off-kilter. On the contrary, the healthiest insurrectionary fervor you can muster will be full of exuberance and joie de vivre.

TAURUS

(April 20-May 20)

"One morning I came upon a small demonstration on a street corner," wrote Sparrow in The Sun. "Several men were holding signs that said BRING BACK DUSK, and shouting, \’Dusk! Give us dusk!\’ \’But dusk will come again this evening,\’ I pointed out to one of them. \’We don’t care,\’ he replied, with a wild look. \’We want it now!\’" If and when you become impatient in the coming week, Taurus, remember Sparrow\’s story. Progress will proceed at its own pace, not yours. The peaches will ripen when they are ready, not necessarily when you are.

GEMINI

(May 21-June 20)

In their article "Most Popular Myths in Science" (http://tinyurl.com/h2mya), editors at LiveScience.com analyzed ideas that are dear to conventional wisdom. They debunked the notions that lightning never strikes twice in the same place, that humans only use ten percent of their brains, and that it\’s safe to eat food that has been on the floor for less than five seconds. But they affirmed certain other "myths." A falling cat does pretty much always land on its feet, they found. Yawning is indeed contagious. Eating two poppy seed bagels can produce a positive result for opiates on a drug test. I bring this up, Gemini, as a prod to get you to take inventory of your own opinions, assumptions, and storylines. This is a perfect moment to not just question your beliefs, but to give them the third degree.

CANCER

(June 21-July 22)

The dreams you have in the coming nights may be disturbing. Eagles may be dive-bombing warm and fuzzy little sheep. Lions may be pouncing on gentle deer and big bullies may be stealing the lunch money of cute little kids on the playground. You should not, however, view these dreams as bad omens. If you respond to them correctly, they will not turn out to be prophecies about literal developments in your waking life. And what is the correct response? Toughen up the part of you whose feelings are too easily hurt. Strengthen the protection that surrounds your vulnerabilities. Stand up for yourself with a courage that is graceful, not macho.

LEO

(July 23-Aug. 22)

Travel writer Bruce Chatwin walked around Australia as he researched and meditated on the indigenous people\’s beliefs about what the land was like in the ancient past. He wrote: "Aboriginal creation myths tell of the legendary totemic beings who wandered over the continent in the Dreamtime, singing out the name of everything that crossed their path–birds, animals, plants, rocks, waterholes–and so singing the world into existence." Given the fact that you\’re now primed to create a new domain or two, Leo, may I suggest the aborigines\’ approach? You\’ll infuse everything with extra beauty if you play around with singing it into existence.

VIRGO

(Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

Once upon a time, you asked a certain someone for a blessing. Instead, he or she blasted you with a curse. The debilitating blow of that bad magic hit you right smack in the place that was ripe for the blessing you requested. What a tragedy! Now, at last, you\’re wise and strong enough to defeat the power of that old curse. Here\’s the first step: Understand that the seed of the blessing you once needed (and still need) is hidden within and obscured by the curse. Figure out what that blessing is, and it will reveal to you what to do next. (P.S.: The French word for "wound" is blessure. It suggests that blessing can come from wounding.)

LIBRA

(Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

I foresee the possibility of a Jerry Springer kind of week ahead for some of you Libras. You might seek romantic relationships with incarcerated criminals, or embark on a diet that requires you to eat three pints of ice cream per day, or try to take out your frustrations by spitting in the faces of unhinged teenage boys in mosh pits at punk concerts. On the other hand, there is also the possibility that many of you Libras will be pursuing unusual departures from the routine that would be more appreciated by the Dalai Lama than Jerry Springer. For instance, you might teach your skills to a class in a penitentiary, or go on a juice fast to purify yourself in preparation for a confrontation with abusive authorities, or express your righteous indignation at injustice by volunteering at a battered women\’s shelter. Whether you go more in the direction of Jerry Springer or the Dalai Lama will all depend on how craftily you wield your free will.

SCORPIO

(Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

Many people regard Evangeline Lilly, star of TV\’s Lost, as an exceptionally attractive woman. When she was younger, that was a problem for her. "I spent many nights crying myself to sleep," she has said, "wishing I was ugly because of the way men leered at and disrespected me." In my studies of human nature, I\’ve found that most of us, like Lilly, have had a tormented relationship with our most extravagant assets. Fortunately for you, Scorpio, you now have an enhanced capacity to be at peace with and thoroughly enjoy the potent effects your beauty and power have on the world.

SAGITTARIUS

(Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

Philosopher Robert Anton Wilson wrote an article called "How to Live Eleven Days in 24 Hours." I\’m borrowing the title to serve as your theme in the coming days. Your instinct for smart risks is finely tuned, and your ability to cram adroit intensity into every one of your experiences is high–so much so that you could probably harvest eleven days\’ worth of sexy lessons in several different 24-hour periods just ahead.

CAPRICORN

(Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

"Hundreds of articles in medical journals claiming to be written by academics or doctors have been penned by ghostwriters in the pay of drug companies," according to The Observer (http://snipurl.com/nqso). Is this one more sign of corruption in the pharmaceutical industry? Yes. And further evidence that you should be very skeptical of all authorities everywhere? Sure. But it\’s also a metaphor that could prove useful to keep in mind as you navigate your way through the riddles you\’ll soon encounter. Be alert for the possibility that what you see is not what you\’re actually getting. There may be manipulative powers behind the throne . . . stand-ins pretending to be the real thing . . . mouthpieces that hide the true source of their message.

AQUARIUS

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

This week should be pretty CRUNCHALICIOUS, Aquarius. You know, crisp and delectable, chewy and pleasing to your inner four-year-old–like a breakfast cereal with three different sweet tastes packed into puff balls that softly explode in your mouth. The only potential problem is that you could keep wolfing down the treats without any regard for how the experience might make you feel later. I suggest that you enjoy the feast slowly, pausing every now and then to monitor whether you\’re close to being excessively stimulated or over-satiated.

PISCES

(Feb. 19-March 20)

Some observers have expressed derisive opinions about Guy Boos, a Wisconsin man who hurled his washing machine down a flight of stairs and pumped it full of bullets with his .25-caliber gun. I, on the other hand, admire those who take out their frustration and rage on inanimate objects rather than on animals or other human beings. That\’s why I advise you to consider Boos\’ methodology if you find yourself on the verge of boiling over, Pisces. Don\’t repress your negative feelings, but find a way to express them that doesn\’t cost you anything more than a little money.

~ ASTROLOGY ~

ARIES

(March 21-April 19)

I\’m pleased to announce the imminent arrival of a new chapter in your own personal soap opera. It could include any of the following plot twists: midnight confessions, madcap sex farces, thumb-sucking saints, an invitation to play leapfrog with a unicorn, work turning into play and vice versa, a showdown between the reptile brain and mammalian brain, a chance to bob for lollipops in a fountain, a thunderstorm coming just in time to douse a raging fire, samurais wearing pajamas, a supernatural ham sandwich, and opportunities to tinker with your "Me Against the World" attitude.

TAURUS

(April 20-May 20)

Has a baby ever been born with two umbilical cords? If so, he or she would be a good symbol for you in the coming weeks. Why? Because you should be extremely aggressive about getting the nurturing you need–even to the point of double-dipping from a primal source. In my astrological opinion, it\’s your responsibility to make sure you\’re flooded with blessings. Trust your unprecedented hunger.

GEMINI

(May 21-June 20)

Kathleen Raine (1908-2003) was a brilliant Cambridge-educated scholar and poet who won numerous awards for her poetry in the U.K. and France. Many of her colleagues were towering intellectuals, but she herself wanted "to get away from the Sherlock Holmes misconception that everything has a rational explanation." She gravitated instead toward "the sacred springs of life, which are the imagination and the heart." She\’s your role model right now, Gemini. I hope she\’ll inspire you to apply all of your high-powered ingenuity to an exploration of soul-awakening mysteries that can\’t be encapsulated with neat analyses. It\’s a perfect moment for you to celebrate the indescribable bounty of fertile chaos.

CANCER

(June 21-July 22)

Are there influences that render you numb or even dumb? What experiences tend to shut you down? When you\’re gliding along in your natural rhythm, are you sometimes interrupted by blips that make you feel lost and unresponsive? According to my reading of the astrological omens, Cancerian, you now have extra power to fight back against these little outbreaks of black magic. It\’s a perfect moment to get the upper hand on anything that closes you off from the world or locks you away from your own intuition.

LEO

(July 23-Aug. 22)

The Hebrew word "shalom" is both a hello infused with a goodbye and a goodbye leavened with a hello. That\’s why it would be wise and fun for you to make it your word of power in the coming days. You\’ll be spinning through a transitional zone in which it won\’t always be clear which direction is up. You\’ll be coming and going simultaneously, embarking on new journeys and ending old ones. Whenever you say "shalom," whether it\’s a greeting to someone else or a mantra uttered in solitude, you\’ll remind yourself that the threshold you\’re in is pregnant with a thousand possibilities.

VIRGO

(Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

Some scientists believe our brains are in a continual state of war. Writing in LiveScience.com, Bjorn Carey reports that our grey matter is a battleground where competing thoughts and impulses struggle for supremacy, brawling and jousting for our undivided attention. I have reason to believe that this ruckus will be far more pronounced than usual for you in the coming weeks, Virgo. All of your pairs of opposites will intensify their conflict, with each side clamoring and maneuvering to be declared winner. What I recommend may surprise you. I think you should just sit back with amused tolerance and let them fight it out. There really is no pressing need for you to be anything other than a radiant bundle of fascinating contradictions.

LIBRA

(Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

I\’m not a big fan of excessive decorum. That\’s why I\’m opposed to the efforts by some professional tennis officials to stop the spread of grunting among female tennis players. The great Monica Seles started the trend some years ago, emitting war cries as she struck the ball, and since then many other players have made it a part of their game. This is a favorable time for you to experiment with what they have discovered: that making loud mouth noises loosens your inhibitions, boosts your confidence, and lubricates your power. Liberate your GRUNT, Libra!

SCORPIO

(Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

In preparation for my public readings and performances, I often ask my hosts to make sure that there are pussy willows and pomegranates placed near the podium, along with a pint of absinthe, a jump rope woven from hemp for use in my interactive rituals, and a box of slave-free, non-GMO, organic vegan chocolates. What about you, Scorpio? What items would you demand in your rider if you were asked to speak about your philosophy of life to a curious audience? It\’s an ideal time to meditate on this matter. According to my astrological analysis, you will soon be in the spotlight, will be encouraged to spread your influence more forcefully, and will have openings to ask for what you want with aggressive clarity.

SAGITTARIUS

(Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

Austin artist Scott Wade likes to let layers of dust collect on the rear window of his car. That allows him to express his specialty: detailed "paintings" carved out of the dust with his fingers and paintbrushes. The most exquisite of his temporary masterpieces was a black-and-white reproduction of one of the famous "Dogs Playing Poker" paintings. I recommend you make Wade your role model, Sagittarius. Create unexpected wonders and exuberant curiosities out of stuff that\’s used in a different way than it\’s "supposed" to be.

CAPRICORN

(Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

I recently found out there\’s a famous guy out there with a name similar to mine. Rob Brzezinski is an administrator for pro football\’s Minnesota Vikings. He\’s regarded as a "cap guru," meaning he\’s highly skilled at manipulating the National Football League\’s Byzantine "cap" system of rules about how much money a team can spend on its players. That\’s pretty funny given the fact that I\’ve been working really hard in the last few months to become a "Cappy guru," by which I mean someone who understands Capricorns really well. I mention this because it\’s prime time for you to seek out and learn from people who are to you what Rob Brzezinski is to me: your counterpart, soul twin, shadow, doppelganger, or other half.

AQUARIUS

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

Imagine asking fundamentalist nutcase Jerry Falwell to evaluate a book about evolution by a renowned science writer like Richard Dawkins. Imagine handing poet Allen Ginsberg\’s masterwork Howl to a janitor in Bangladesh and paying him to write his opinions about it. The effect would be similar to an event that actually occurred recently. The New York Times invited ex-Marine sniper Anthony Swofford, author of the Gulf War memoir Jarhead, to review a subversive metaphysical experiment penned by visionary philosopher Daniel Pinchbeck. As you might expect, Swofford\’s screed was 85 percent hallucination. Let the Times\’ gaffe serve as a warning beacon, Aquarius. It\’s now crucial for you to gather a range of discriminating opinions about yourself and the possibilities you\’re considering. Don\’t rely on people who have no familiarity with, understanding of, or respect for the issues you want feedback about.

PISCES

(Feb. 19-March 20)

Neurologist Oliver Sacks writes books in which he describes the ingenious adaptations some of his patients have made when faced with limitations that other people might have found debilitating. One example is an artist whose car accident caused him to lose his ability to see any other colors besides black and white. In response, he became a specialist in creating black and white paintings, and ultimately developed a mastery that won him acclaim. Later, when offered a chance to undergo treatment to restore the full spectrum of vision, he declined. Take heart from his story, Pisces. The coming weeks will be an excellent time for you, too, to capitalize on one of your seeming liabilities or inadequacies.

~ ASTROLOGY ~

ARIES

(March 21-April 19)

Yawning often occurs during the time we\’re transitioning from a passive state to a more active one, like when we\’re waking up in the morning or when we\’ve decided to stop watching TV, get up off the couch, and head out for a jog. Psychology professor Robert Provine, an expert on the subject, says that concert pianists and Olympic athletes typically yawn as they gear up for their moments in the limelight. Judging from these facts, Aries, I imagine you\’ll soon be indulging in more yawns than usual. You\’re about to go from a phase of relative inertness to one of mind-jiggling adventure.

TAURUS

(April 20-May 20)

Surveys show that two out of every ten people have bought stuff they found out about through e-mail spam. While you\’re no doubt too sophisticated to be among that number, you might want to open your mind a bit to the possibility. That\’s because the astrological omens suggest you may soon receive useful information and out-of-the-blue inspiration from sources you\’ve ignored in the past–even chattering gossipers and questionable teachers and TV news shows. Don\’t be too sure you already know where your juiciest clues will be coming from.

GEMINI

(May 21-June 20)

Florida\’s Pensacola Christian College has a strict code of conduct that regulates the interaction of male and female students. One of the forbidden acts is "optical intercourse," also known as "making eye babies." This occurs when two people gaze into each other\’s eyes too long and too deeply. Luckily, you don\’t attend Pensacola Christian College, and will thus face no prohibitions if you choose to carry out my astrological advice: Make eye babies in abundance during the coming week. This is the best time in eons for you to build soul-to-soul intimacy with those who\’ve earned your exuberant trust. P.S. If you don\’t have a lover with whom you want to make eye babies, do it with a good friend, with a favorite animal, or with yourself in a mirror.

CANCER

(June 21-July 22)

A literature professor told me an amazing fact: Many of Emily Dickinson\’s poems can be sung to the tune of the traditional folk song "The Yellow Rose of Texas." (Try it with the poem that begins "The soul should always stand ajar," which you can read at http://snipurl.com/sjrh. To hear the music, go here: http://snipurl.com/sjla.) I like this unexpected resonance between high art and rustic style, between subtleness of mind and earthy feelings, between elite ideas and populist execution. Furthermore, I recommend that you yourself try similar blends in the coming week.

LEO

(July 23-Aug. 22)

"Nature loves courage," said visionary philosopher Terence McKenna. "It shows you it loves courage because it will respond to your brave commitment by removing impossible obstacles." While I believe this is always true, Leo, it\’s especially apropos for you right now. You\’ve fallen short of your potential because you have not yet summoned more than a fraction of the boldness that lies within you. But this is a turning point when you finally have what it takes to tap into your dormant reserves. I hope you rise to the occasion, and so does nature.

VIRGO

(Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

"What this country needs is a good five-cent reverie," philanthropist Paul Mellon once said. I completely agree. There are more than enough dreams that tempt us to spend a fortune . . . fantasies that cost a hundred million dollars to make . . . expensive head trips that distract us from enjoying the simple things in life. The astrological omens suggest that you keep this theme uppermost in your mind, Virgo. Focus on a marvelous reverie that will set you free for free. Daydream about a pearl of great price that you can have for a song.

LIBRA

(Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Mother Jones magazine reports that the widow of Black Panther founder Huey Newton is trademarking his slogan "Burn, baby, burn" for use in marketing her new barbecue sauce. Meanwhile, the insurance company AFLAC has trademarked the quacking of the duck in its TV commercial, MGM has trademarked the roaring of its lion, and Pillsbury has trademarked the giggling of the Pillsbury Doughboy. Do you have a signature phrase, gesture, noise, trick, service, or product, Libra? This would be an excellent time for you to shelter it with a trademark, patent, copyright or other kind of protection.

SCORPIO

(Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

In his book Cosmos and Psyche, Richard Tarnas says the planets don\’t emit invisible forces that shape our destinies as if we were puppets. Rather, they are signals of the unfolding evolutionary pattern. Just as clocks tell time but don\’t create it, the heavenly bodies show us the big picture but don\’t cause it. Quoting ancient Greek philosopher Plotinus, Tarnas writes "the stars are like letters that inscribe themselves at every moment in the sky. Everything in the world is full of signs. All events are coordinated. All things depend on each other. Everything breathes together." Can you work yourself into a state in which you perceive this sublime interconnectedness, Scorpio? You desperately need to. If you can, you won\’t have to be an astrologer to catch profound glimpses of the overarching purpose and meaning of your life. Everything in the world, not just the planets\’ positions, will be full of signs for you to read.

SAGITTARIUS

(Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

As I take my daily bike ride into the hills, I pass a place where a beer-truck driver named Elijah lives. It\’s a trailer with old tires and rusty tools littering the driveway. Today there was a new addition: a 1975 Chevy El Camino, a vehicle that\’s like a car up front and a pick-up truck in back. It had a bumper sticker that read "Theresa and Johnny\’s Comfort Food — Live Free or Die." The whole scene reminded me of the message I want to convey to you, Sagittarius. First, I believe you should bring into your sphere a fresh old thing that\’s an amalgam of two different categories, akin to Elijah acquiring a brand new 31-year-old vehicle that\’s half-car and half-truck. Second, I think you should make sure you feel extremely secure–stocking up on the equivalent of "comfort food"–as you initiate a major push for liberation.

CAPRICORN

(Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

You: difficult to push around, more hungry for intimacy than you let on, smarter than 85 percent of the people you know. Me: provider of friendly shocks, fond of playing a didgeridoo in the rain at dusk and dawn, outrageously tolerant of other people\’s eccentricities. So is there any hope of a relationship between us? Well of course there is. We\’re having a relationship right now, aren\’t we? Maybe it\’s not the exact kind of connection you\’d like to have with me, but you\’ve got to admit there\’s value in it. Now please apply that lesson to your thinking about all your close alliances: Love them for what they are, and don\’t criticize them for what they\’re not.

AQUARIUS

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

In one of his poems, the late, great Charles Olson praised "lovers of the difficult." He didn\’t mean that in some sadomasochistic sense; he wasn\’t cheering on people who perversely enjoy suffering. Rather, he meant to express his admiration for those whose lust for life drives them to seek answers to the knottiest questions. He was recommending that we wrestle with intractable problems whose solutions unleash blessings on the world. In the coming week, Aquarius, I encourage you to be one of these lovers of the difficult.

PISCES

(Feb. 19-March 20)

The dance called the waltz is regarded as schmaltzy, but it was originally the punk music of its era. After its first appearance in England in 1816, an editorial in The Times called it obscene, a dance worthy only of prostitutes, because of its "voluptuous intertwining of the limbs and close compressure on the bodies." Religious authorities in Europe thought it was vulgar and sinful. My prediction is that you\’re currently entertaining a new trend that will have a history not unlike that of the waltz. It may cause a ruckus in the beginning, but will eventually become the pinnacle of normalcy.

~ ASTROLOGY ~

ARIES

(March 21-April 19)

Three years before Dan Brown\’s The Da Vinci Code came out, my book The Televisionary Oracle was published. In it, I riffed extensively on Mary Magdalene\’s role as Jesus\’s consort, collaborator, and co-creator of Christianity–similar in ways to Brown\’s themes. Sales of my tome are approaching 10,000, while Brown\’s have topped 61 million. Why the contrast? His work is a linear detective story, while mine is an experimental blend of magical realism, prophetic philosophy, and oracular poetry. His characterizations and plot hew to established conventions of mainstream fiction, while mine spring from my muse and real life. The difference between our approaches is comparable to the choice you have ahead of you, Aries. You can opt for greater popularity and loyalty to convention, or you can choose to be more of a secret as you rigorously follow the promptings of your inner voice.

TAURUS

(April 20-May 20)

Once you open a can of worms, the only way to re-can the buggers is to use a larger can. So says Zymurgy\’s First Law of Evolving Systems Dynamics. I urge you to keep that in mind during the coming week, Taurus. You or someone close to you may suffer from a blissful mania or temporary insanity that leads them to think that liberating the canned worms is a wise idea. Maybe it will ultimately prove to be the right thing to do, but it could cause a ruckus in the short run. In any case, make it your job to have a barrel-size can on hand for the re-containment.

GEMINI

(May 21-June 20)

Recently a team of a thousand workers spent a week scraping off 600,000 wads of chewing gum that had become bonded to the surface of Beijing\’s Tiananmen Square. If you choose to accept it, Gemini, your assignment in the coming week is to carry out a procedure comparable to China\’s massive, intricate effort to wipe the slate clean. It may be time-consuming and a bit excruciating–the equivalent of shuffling around for hours on your hands and knees–but in retrospect I think you\’ll be very glad you did it. Its surprisingly cathartic effect will make you smarter and wilder and kinder and trickier.

CANCER

(June 21-July 22)

This will be an excellent time–maybe one of the best weeks ever–to try herding cats, coaxing hermits to do karaoke, and getting anorexics to eat veggie burgers with all the fixings. In other words, Cancerian, the once-inconceivable may become likely. The adventures you swore you would never have the courage to attempt are suddenly within your capacity. You can at least partially dissolve the one fear you\’ve always believed would hobble you forever.

LEO

(July 23-Aug. 22)

According to the Bible, the apostle Thomas did not immediately accept the other disciples\’ reports that Christ had survived his crucifixion and come back to life in a resurrected body. "Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side," Thomas said, "I will not believe it." Later Christ appeared in person to Thomas and invited him to put his hand in the actual wound. Moral of the story: The person who doubted was given a special privilege. Let that be your guiding thought in the coming week, Leo. Demand proof. Seek actual evidence to bolster your faith.

VIRGO

(Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

July 4, 1776 is generally regarded as the day the 13 American colonies issued the Declaration of Independence, thereby asserting their right to be free of Britain\’s rule. But the fact is that only two members of the Continental Congress signed the document on that day. Most of the other 54 men waited until August 2. In a similar way, Virgo, a process you thought was fully climaxed this week will not reach its full ripening until early August. I suggest you reserve making your final conclusions until then.

LIBRA

(Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Your patron saint for the month of July is Dublin professor James Mays. A few years ago he made a major splash in the literary world. While researching the work of Libran poet Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772-1834), Mays discovered 300 previously unknown poems written by the co-founder of England\’s Romantic Movement, doubling what had long been thought to be his total output. I predict that in the coming weeks, Libra, you too will make a breakthrough that will give you access to a fresh trove of creative resources that have been hidden from your view.

SCORPIO

(Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

Like a bird, you seem to have the ability to defy gravity lately. You\’re acting with the expansiveness that comes from having a wide-ranging, high-in-the-sky view of life. Sometimes you remind me of a thunderbird, which among Native Americans was a mythical raptor that carried messages between spiritual beings. Its eyes unleashed lightning and its enormous wings beat so hard that they spawned storms. But sometimes, Scorpio, you\’re more like a nightingale–a small, graceful songbird that sings beautiful, complicated songs at night when no other bird is singing. Congratulations on your versatility. Only you could pull off being half-thunderbird and half-nightingale.

SAGITTARIUS

(Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

A garbage strike turned out to be a lucky break for two people in Illinois. Brother and sister Ezekiel and Karen Garnett had bought a lottery ticket but then carelessly thrown it out. Many days later they heard that the winning $10.5 million ticket remained unclaimed. Was it theirs? They sifted through two weeks\’ worth of trash, which remained uncollected outside their house because sanitation engineers had walked off the job. Voila! They found the precious ticket. Now I predict you\’ll be visited by a comparable sequence, Sagittarius–a glitch that leads to a happy ending. It may be that an asset you\’ve neglected or squandered will return to you because of an inconvenience. Or perhaps you\’ll realize how valuable a certain experience is only after you\’ve lost it, whereupon you\’ll recover it against all odds.

CAPRICORN

(Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

If you usually wear your baseball cap backwards, this will be a favorable time to turn the peak toward the front. If it\’s normally facing forward, I suggest you turn it around. In fact, everything you try in the coming week will have extra luck and grace if you approach it a bit askew or do it the reverse of your customary habit. The cosmic tables have turned, and the best way to capitalize is to flip-flop yourself.

AQUARIUS

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

Iran made a strong overture of peace to the United States in the spring of 2003. According to The Washington Post, the Iranians offered to recognize Israel, promised to stop supporting terrorist groups, and asked for diplomatic talks concerning their nuclear technology. Tragically, the Bush administration ignored the proposal, missing a chance to cool down tensions that have led to today\’s crisis. My analysis of the astrological omens suggests that you now have a comparable window of opportunity in your personal life, Aquarius. Peace feelers are appearing. You\’ll soon have a fresh opportunity to dissipate simmering stress before it erupts into conflict. Even better, you\’ll be in a good position to negotiate pretty favorable terms for yourself. Don\’t imitate Bush and company.

PISCES

(Feb. 19-March 20)

If I\’m reading the astrological omens correctly, this would be an excellent time for you to apply for a job as a crocodile trainer, audition for a supporting role in a TV soap opera, or give motivational speeches to five-year-olds. For that matter, it wouldn\’t be outlandish for you to use a chainsaw to create sculptures from dead trees, make a home video of yourself entitled "The Dancing Chef" or "The Wise-Ass Guru," or write a research paper on orca whales and quantum physics. In other words, Pisces, consider trying things you\’ve never considered before. Ask yourself if maybe you possess hidden talents that you haven\’t even begun to cultivate. Be receptive to the possibility that your destiny is more open-ended than you\’ve ever imagined.

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    November 14 @ 8:00 pm - November 24 @ 2:00 pm
  8. Faculty Recital: Micah Wright

    November 15 @ 7:30 pm
  9. Ojai Herbal Symposium: The Wisdom of the Body

    November 16 - November 17
  10. Free Clothing Swap!

    November 16 @ 11:00 am - 3:00 pm

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